Lion Sands Game Reserve, South Africa
This private game reserve features luxury safari lodges and "treehouses" in the Sabi Sand Game Reserve and Kruger National Park. The open-air Chalkley Treehouse is set up on a lavish platform underneath the stars -- elevated so you don't get awoken by, you know, lions feeding on your thigh meat -- with all of the comforts of a five-star safari lodge (except for, you know, a shower). But take note: a night out under the stars is an activity booked in addition to your accommodation reserved at one of the Lion Sands Lodges, which will set you back roughly in the ballpark of (and depending on the season and particular lodge) $2,827 per night.
Rangali Island, The Maldives
You can sleep suspended on the side of a mountain, OR you can sleep 16ft below the surface of the Indian Ocean in this underwater bedroom suite. The suite must be booked at least two weeks in advance, as it requires the resort to convert what is otherwise a glass-enclosed underwater restaurant into your own private fish bowl. The cost of this aquarium tour: $11,710 per night. (This is the Maldives, after all – one of the most expensive destinations in the world, which means this unreasonable amount is vaguely reasonable.) Also, you can only get to this hotel via seaplane, because obviously.