Next to Thanksgiving dinner, a funeral, and the wedding altar, the absolute worst place to break up with someone has to be a crowded airplane -- especially one that's delayed on the tarmac. Still, that didn't stop a nameless dude from reverse-popping-the-question to his girlfriend while they sat together waiting for their plane to take off this past Sunday.
Fortunately for the rest of us, a woman named Kelly Keegs was there to live-tweet the ensuing fiasco in real time, and the resulting carnage will go down as one of history's all-time best breakups, second only to John and Lorena Bobbitt's hog-slicing farewell.
The debacle began when the dude lobbed his opening salvo, initiating the relationship-destruct sequence for all to see:
Are You Brave Enough to Walk Around on the Wings of a Biplane While It's Flying at 3,500 Feet?
From there, Ms. Keegs began sharing the highlights of what's clearly a cheater's confession:
Things only got worse, as the relationship's reactor experienced core failure:
A brief calm ensued, still with the plane sitting on the tarmac:
Followed by, you guessed it, more dramz:
Then the mysterious side piece got a name:
Finally, when it seemed like all was lost, they both clipped the red wire and aborted the destruct sequence:
While the ultimate fate of the beleaguered couple remains unclear, Ms. Keegs clearly came out as the winner of all this:
Moral of the story? If you see something awkward go down on your next flight, spring for the in-flight WiFi. It'll be worth the money.
Gianni Jaccoma is a staff writer for Thrillist, and he’s never seen anything this fun on an airplane. Follow his tweets from the middle seat @gjaccoma, and send your news tips to email@example.com