Biggest Hits: If there’s one thing Arizona has no shortage of, it’s rocks. Sweet formations run the gamut from Tucson’s Finger Rock (it flicks you off), to Wickieup’s Snoopy Rock (he’s sleeping, see!?), to the Congress’ painted green outcropping, Frog Rock. If you’re a time-telling junky or just need some feminine products, swing by the country’s largest sundial in Carefree.
Big Whiff: The Longhorn Grill’s giant pair of horns, piercing the sky above I-19, are mad cool, but entry to the restaurant is via the skull’s nasal cavity. Gross.
Biggest Hits: The magical fairy lights and snow globe vibe of the Chippewa Falls Christmas Village! A muskie fish as long as a jumbo jet at the National Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame! Pair that with La Crosse’s largest Six Pack in the World and maybe Dad will finally respect you!
Big Whiff: Now that Laona’s “World’s Largest Soup Kettle” hasn’t served soup in decades, it’s just kind of a big drum of nothing.
Biggest Hits: Between the World’s Largest Catsup Bottle in Collinsville and a half-size replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa (called The Leaning Tower of Niles, thankyouverymuch), along with Vandalia’s Kaskaskia Dragon -- a 35ft metal fire breathing dragon -- and a giant statue of Superman, in Metropolis, of course -- Chicago’s Cloud Gate (aka THE BEAN) has some competition.
Big Whiff: The concept of squatting in a dark, wooden outhouse is already terrifying, but doubly so at the Two-Story Outhouse. It is closed to the public and presented with no context (sometimes you gotta go, sometimes two gotta go?).
Biggest Hits: The Druid’s Chair and Altar may seem like a drab stone slab, but local lore insists that it was used as a platform for ritual Pagan sacrifice. The World’s Biggest Bug in Providence is the mascot for New England Pest Control, and probably the inspiration for insect-oid antagonists in the hilarious Starship Troopers.
Big Whiff: Hope Valley’s Enchanted Forest was once a kiddy amusement park, complete with fairytale-flourished buildings, and a huge Humpty Dumpty statue. But time, wild grass, and hoodlums have lent it a nightmarish, circus-left-town feeling; it’s where Kafka would host his birthday.
Biggest Hits: We challenge you to drive by Columbus’ 8-foot-tall bronze statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger, in muscle-popping Speedo mode, without launching into the Governator’s accent. Marion’s Steam Shovel Bucket is not only big enough for you to stand in, but it was once used as part of a larger building apparatus for one of the greatest engineering achievements ever, the Panama Canal.
Big Whiff: The Pasture Carousel, in Beverly, is a cluster-what of fiberglass animals arranged in some semblance of a circle on what appears to be an old silo foundation. Like most old, odd, and abandoned things, it’s a bit spooky.
Biggest Hits: The world's largest egg AND the world's largest frying pan (or at least a contender for it)? If the Teapot Dome Service Station -- which actually looks like a teapot -- referenced tea and not a government scandal, you could have one massive English breakfast.
Big Whiff: Sam Hill's Stonehenge is an insult to the American tradition of weird Stonehenges. THAT'S JUST A CIRCLE OF PERFECT, NON-MYSTERIOUS, AND NON-DECREPIT CONCRETE SLABS. WHAT IS THIS.
Biggest Hits: The Hole ‘N’ The Rock. It’s a rock! It’s a big, beautiful rock. Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, probably around the rest of the state to check out other neat stops like the Delta Solar ruins where, fingers crossed, you might catch Tina Turner roaming around in a chainmail bikini, or pop by the one place in Utah you can find a metaphor in the desert and not be guilty of pretentiously imitating Kerouac (Metaphor: The Tree of Life, jutting weirdly and proudly up out of the Salt Flats).
Big Whiff: Cedar City’s lighthouse, guiding all the ships… on the Utah Ocean... safely home to port. You know what they say about Utah harbors! They don’t exist.
Biggest Hits: You want buildings shaped like giant elephants? Jersey has Lucy. Decrepit gingerbread castle? Jersey’s got your weird pastry palace fix on Route 23. A clock that SPANKS Big Ben? The Colgate Clock’s face is over twice as large as wimpy Ben’s.
Big Whiff: The world’s largest light bulb atop the Thomas Alva Edison Memorial Tower and Museum isn’t even lit by Edison’s invention -- they’re LEDs. For shame, NJ.
Biggest Hits: Wonderfully weird Louisiana could have won this thing if it wasn’t for that rule that states you have to be able to see the attractions from your car. However, Newellton’s giant mailbox is still impossible for neighborhood punks to fell with baseball bats (unless they borrow Kentucky’s). The 14-story mural (the biggest in the U.S.) depicting life in Shreveport is just as safe, unless they get a good grappling hook or some suction cups.
Big Whiff: The formerly upside-down Giant Frostop Mug of Rootbeer in New Orleans just doesn’t have the same charm now that its owner set it right-side up again.