Even the pools are disgusting (and by disgusting we mean glorious)
A dream destination for most people, Hawaii (Hilo for a day, then Honolulu for two) is literally just the jumping off point
After a few days at sea, it'll be nice to check-in on Guam and make sure they're doing the ol' USA proud
Fast forward over the month you just spent exploring Japan, China, Vietnam, and Thailand, and poof, just like that, you'll be taking a holiday in Cambodia.
Your brief stint in Cambodia closes when you spend a day cruising the South China Sea to Singapore where you'll be able to kick back and drink nothing but their namesake slings for two days
Now BOOM, before you know it, another 1/2 month passes and so do ports of call in Indonesia, Mauritius, and South Africa, before you pull into Walvis Bay, Namibia at the end of March