The Traffic Snob
You know what exactly nobody wants to hear when he’s stuck in his third hour of traffic on the 405? How it’s NOTHING compared to China. We know, there’s people starving there, too. That fact doesn’t make Brussels sprouts taste any better.
How to mess with him: Make him drive. Everywhere.
The Wannabe Expat
Apparently, if the US were run by the people in whatever country he just came back from, we’d have no diseases, 100% employment, no homeless people, cars that get 400 miles to the gallon, free pizza on every corner, absinthe fountains, and houses made out of rainbows.
How to mess with him: Open his wallet, take out half the money that’s in there, and tell him that sh*t don’t come cheap.