1pm: Your opt-in, opt-out activity for the day. As a reminder of what works versus what doesn’t, here’s a list:
Classic Bachelor Party Blunders
- Deep-sea fishing
- Lazy-river rafting
- Driving “experiences”
- That motherfucking steak dinner
- Tours of any kind
- Breweries (IT’S JUST A TOUR, DAMMIT, HIDDEN BEHIND BEER)
- Hunting (animals or humans)
Approved Bachelor Party Activities
- Hanging at a pool, beach, lake
- Bar crawls
- Inclusive drinking games
- Chartering boats (NOT deep-sea diving)
- Opt-in/opt-out golf
- Beer gardens
- Hot springs or waterfalls
- Playing dominoes with Sean Bean
7pm: Casual dinner. This could be pizzas to the house, a BBQ spot with big communal tables, burgers, anything that doesn’t require reservations and will be low impact. Friday is always the night people go too hard, so you need to recharge as much as possible if you want to have fun on Saturday night.
9pm: New bars. Or a casino. Preferably the casino in South Lake Tahoe so your friend can win $2200 playing craps and, spur of the moment, buy everyone tickets to see Sting & Peter Gabriel.
1am: Go home. By now, the bachelor has likely ruined his life in all optimal ways and will be flagging. Just call it.