17. Miami, FL
That one guy in your freshman dorm that wears excessive hair product, owns myriad button-down shirts in primary colors purchased online from European clothiers, and is weirdly good at Jet Skiing, but a city.
16. Houston, TX
If you're going to eat meat, be it steak or ribs or burgers or kolaches filled with sausage, there is nary a better city in this country to get down in. If you're going to sit in traffic in the worst humidity I've ever experienced outside of a rainforest (I went to a rainforest once, NBD) in a city that would give LA a run for its money in sprawl, Houston is also very good at that. Free DeAndre Hopkins!
15. Dallas, TX
Everyone always makes fun of Dallas for being the mercenary Texas city, the place where northern and Midwestern expats come to do a few years of work before returning to their home bases in Chicago and Arlington, VA. Or they talk about the big hair and the fake boobs of the Texas natives. Or, if they're my mom, they talk about that show Dallas and who shot J.R. (spoiler alert: it was his sister-in-law Kristin, but J.R. didn't press charges because she said she was pregnant with his child!). Either way, Dallas is a perfectly respectable middle-of-the-road city, which is basically what the Cowboys are destined to be next season once the rookie magic has worn off Dak Prescott.