B illy Corben loves Miami. Whether he also likes it is an open question. When we first asked him for advice to potential visitors, he replied, "Other than, 'Don't ever come here'?” He was only half-joking. As our generation's chronicler of the South Florida bizarre, he has made a career of telling stories about Miami as a delirious, alluring hellhole. One thing he does have in common with the city: Neither is ever boring. 
Corben has developed documentaries showing unfathomable Miami: the building of a city on drug money in Cocaine Cowboys, the building of a college football dynasty in The U. He has insight on the city that most people don't, having lived his whole life here despite the corrupt government, floods, terrible drivers, and even worse residents. Which means despite his obvious disdain, he's found a Miami worth sticking around for. Here's what he tells his friends who ignore his advice and do ever come here.
What makes coming to Miami special?
Billy Corben: I've always said LA is where you go when you want to be somebody, New York is where you go when you are somebody, and Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is really lip service: Miami is a place you can go where you and your misdeeds can legitimately disappear. Then you can turn around and run for office, all the while dumping hookers into the Everglades. It's really a magical place that way.
Blackbrick Chinese | Blackbrick Chinese
Mac's Club Deuce | Zeinab Kristen/Thrillist
Billy Corben | Billy Corben
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1. Yardbird Southern Table & Bar 1600 Lenox Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

Before Yardbird opened in 2011, Miami wasn't known for its Southern comfort cuisine, which somehow seemed odd for a city that's geographically part of the American south. All that changed when Top Chef finalist Jeff McInnis, along with restaurant vets Chris Romero and John Kunkel, opened Yardbird in Miami Beach and instantly made a name with their fried chicken, buttermilk biscuits, and watermelon salad. The menu is chock full of quintessential down-home foods, and the well-stocked bar doles out house cocktails like blackberry bourbon lemonade and Bloody Marys with bacon-infused bourbon.

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2. Tropical Chinese Restaurant 7991 Bird Rd, Miami, FL 33155

Just trust us on this: Tropical Chinese Restaurant has the best dim sum in Miami. The family-run spot has been drawing crowds -- especially on weekends around 10am -- for steamed shrimp dumplings, pork buns, and crispy Peking duck for decades. Though its daytime cart service is a must, Tropical's also great for group dinners, thanks to a family-style menu with hits like ginger peel chicken and pineapple fried rice. Total bonus: it's cheap.

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3. The Anderson 709 NE 79th St, Miami, FL 33138

This '80s-themed bar with vintage cigarette ads and nostalgically-named cocktails might get creative with its styling, but it keeps things simple with the ambience. The back is set up like an urban beach with picnic tables on the sand and a beach bungalow shack where you'll find a snack-centric menu.

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4. Happy's Stork Lounge 1872 79th Street Cswy, North Bay Village, FL 33141 (North Bay Village)

Happy’s Stork Lounge is quite possibly one of the last remaining, true dive bars that’s withstood the test of time, and the glitz and glam that’s overrun most of Miami. Its history remains intact as one of the neighborhood’s oldest dives, patronized by the likes of old Italian gangsters and even Frank Sinatra back in the ‘50s. There’s a warning at the entrance, “Enter at your own risk.” Do, and pull up a stool at the bar -- there’s nowhere else to sit -- and soak up the eccentric (for lack of a better word) stories of the Miami locals who’ve been drinking there for decades. On your way out, stop by the adjoining liquor store and continue on drinking 'til dawn.

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5. Shuckers Bar and Grill 1819 79th St Causeway, Miami, FL

Because it sits right on the JFK causeway, Shuckers is the only bar on this list where you feel like you’re sitting in the middle of Biscayne Bay. Or, if you were unfortunate to be there one night a couple years ago, you actually WERE sitting in the middle of Biscayne Bay. Too soon?

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6. On The Rocks 217 71st St, Miami Beach, FL 33141 (Miami Beach)

There are only three hours of the day during which On The Rocks is closed (from 5AM to 8AM). Like its steady stream of drinkers who start well before 5PM, the Miami dive is a bit rough around the edges, but highly lovable inside. Drinks at the formica bar are inexpensive, the nautical tchotchkes that line the shelves are unpretentious (read: dusty), and the bartenders are friendly. And best of all, the jukebox slings killer jams every night. What more could you want?

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7. The Sandbar Restaurant 100 Spring Ave, Anna Maria, FL 34216

An absolute must in Anna Maria, Sandbar serves both food and drink along the island's north shore with picturesque views of the beach and open water. Its got a large indoor dining space and bar, but don't even bother with that — the beachside patio is the only place you want to be, especially if it's close to sunset. Take whatever seat you can find out there (it's one of the most popular joints in the city for locals and tourists) and order a Pina Colada with a seafood platter of fish, shrimp and scallops for a taste of everything this spot's got to offer.

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8. ITO Mojitos y Cafecitos 7450 Ocean Ter, Miami, FL 33141 (Miami Beach)

Just off Collins Ave, Ito, short for Mojitos y Cafecitos, is located far enough to escape the Miami Beach tourist traps, but still just steps away from the dunes. The gastropub’s plates are vibrant both in color and taste, like the yucca bites stuffed with queso fresco and cilantro aioli, the sweet plantains with queso fresco over bacon guava sauce, and the churrasco steak with malanga puree, flamed cherry tomatoes, and chimichurri. Once you’ve had your fill of savory Latin fusion fare, don’t skip out on the guava and cream cheese donuts -- they are sweet and creamy and fluffy and pretty much perfect.

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9. Bowl Bar Packaging and Liquor 1700 NW 7th St, Miami, FL 33125 (Little Havana)

We won’t blame you if you for wanting to shower immediately upon leaving Bowl Bar Packaging and Liquor. This Little Havana dive bar prides itself on its seedy feels (it boasts disposable plastic and Styrofoam cups because who needs glasses?), and despite there being little light inside, you can be pretty sure that unsavory business might go down after hours. But all this aside, Bowl Bar does have what you need for a fun, if questionably debaucherous, night out with your crew: cheap drinks, a booming jukebox, and wall-to-wall mirrors that let you watch it all go down.

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10. Gramps 176 NW 24th St, Miami, FL 33127 (Wynwood)

A bar in Wynwood named for the owner's maternal grandfather, and also literally everyone else's grandfather, Gramps has a bar they stole from his house, a massive outdoor stage covered in graffiti (and typically hosting at least one food truck), a new DJ or live performance daily, bocce, and a collection of $2 beers plus sangria and cocktails like The Jewbian Princess.

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11. Round Table Sportsbar & Lounge 11205 NW 7th Ave, Miami, FL 33168

Though chivalry might be dead these days, the Round Table certainly isn’t -- in fact, it can be found alive and kicking on a Miami strip just off I-95. Complete with parapets and crenels, the Round Table Sportsbar & Lounge’s exterior is reminiscent of a medieval castle. Inside, it trades royal fineries for cheap beer, and swaps feasts for movie theatre-style popcorn that noisily overflows from a machine. The massive wooden bar is the focal point of the space, flanked by a tabletop shuffleboard, where you can test your hand-eye coordination while you await your libations. True, castles are designed to keep you out, but don’t be alarmed when the door is locked. You’ll simply need to buzz to get in.

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12. O Cinema Wynwood 90 NW 29th St, Miami, FL 33127 (Wynwood)

A non-profit, independent local cinema that runs events featuring foreign, art, and family films. The peeeeerfect spot to show your totally hipster side to the lady.

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13. Finka Table & Tap 14690 SW 26th St, Miami, FL 33175, Miami, FL 33175 (Kendall)

This homey gastropub serves unique Cuban fare with Peruvian and Korean influences. Surprisingly, its mac & cheese is one of the best in Miami with carne asada, bacon, scallions, and three (!) cheeses

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14. Latin Cafe 2000 875 NW 42nd Ave, Miami, FL 33126

It’s true: Latin Café 2000 in Le Jeune doesn’t do much to hide the fact that it’s a chain restaurant that most only ever consider as a pit stop on the way to the airport. But that’s a point of pride in itself -- loyal customers simply won’t leave Miami without a bite of their favorite Ropa Vieja, some fried plantains, or even Latin Café’s good old fashioned parking lot fresh air before trapping themselves in a flying tin can for hours. When it comes down to it, the Latin Café 2000 cult is probably doing it right.

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15. Blackbrick 3451 NE 1st Ave, Miami, FL 33137 (Midtown)

Blackbrick pust a Floridian twist on Chinese with stuff like General Tso’s Florida Gator and Swank farms eggplant with Oyster sauce.

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16. Tony Chan's Water Club 1717 N Bayshore Dr, Miami, FL 33132 (Downtown)

Judging by Tony Chan’s decidedly sterile appearance (white tablecloths, black lacquered high-back chairs, and sparse decoration), you likely wouldn’t guess that the Edgewater restaurant is a destination for some of the most authentic Cantonese cuisine in the city, and not a banquet hall primed for your theoretical (read: imaginary) future wedding. Here, you can get Peking duck (it’s served in two courses), three-cup braised chicken -- an aromatic concoction of chicken breast, basil, and heady sauce -- and yu pan quail -- Ching dynasty Emperor Chien-Long’s favorite dish with bamboo shoots, mushrooms, and lettuce leaves -- in addition to less mysterious dishes like General Tso’s chicken. Before your meal arrives, you might be able to spot its preparation through the windows that overlook the kitchen. But be sure to smile because the chefs inside can see you too.

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17. Blue Collar Restaurant 6730 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL 33138

Blue Collar's mission is to give off a true neighborhood hang-out vibe, which it successfully does with a huge menu of comfort food staples. Every day, the kitchen serves a different rib dish (baby back, short ribs, spare ribs, etc), parmesan dish (chicken, veal, pork, eggplant, etc), and a braised dish (brisket, pot roast, ox tails, pork shoulder). There's a whole chalkboard of vegetable sides to counter the meaty entrées, and appetizers like definitely-order-or-you'll-regret-it potato latkes. Don't even get us started on brunch -- just make sure you get there early.

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18. Le Tub Saloon 1100 N Ocean Dr, Hollywood, FL 33019 (Hollywood)

Alert: Le Tub does not have a hot tub, topless women, or alcohol-based suds. But everything it DOES have is as enjoyable, like the hamburger that won the hearts of consumers after being featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show (you remember that, right?).

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19. Shivers BBQ 28001 S Dixie Hwy, Homestead, FL 33033 (Homestead Redlands)

This spot is a full-fledged South Florida institution. It's been around since 1950 and since then has been using a hickory smoker to make their brisket the best in the Miami area. Locals think that Shivers serves up the best BBQ in Homestead, but we think that they are the best in Miami. Stop by and check out their menu!



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