Because you can't learn everything about Australia watching "Crocodile" Dundee II... again, turn off TBS, lace up your hiking boots, and book a week at the just-opened Cicada Lodge, an 18-room oasis of luxury overlooking the sandstone gorges and crocodile-filled waters of the Australian Outback
After flying into Darwin, capitol of Australia's remote Northern Territory, you'll make your way to the sparsely populated town of Katherine (6,000 people) situated alongside this picturesque river
Lying just on the outskirts of town and overlooking said river, the Cicada Lodge welcomes you to make yourself at home
Assuming your parents don't have a rule about sharing a bed with your girlfriend, settle into a luxury King-sized room decorated with original Indigenous paintings, and designed to "facilitate natural airflow", so you should feel right at home after a big meal
If you do have to sleep in separate beds, at least you'll get a pair comfortable slippers out of it
After a brief nap, make haste to the pool deck for nightly complimentary sunset drinks and apps.
Get your adventure on with a morning hike in nearby Nitmiluk National Park, which loosely translates to "cicada place", or "place of the cicada dreaming", or "place where John Secada dreams about making music that's actually good"
After marveling at 40,000-year-old rock paintings, take a break to learn the intricate art of Aboriginal weaving, which can make a killer coaster set for Dad
It gets hot in the Outback, so enjoy a swim under the waterfall
Wash off all that water under a giant “raindrop” showerhead "specifically designed to pay tribute to the giant tropical monsoon raindrops". Or go during monsoon season and just stand around outside
Boasting one of the Australia's top Indigenous chefs, the Cicada offers crocodile filets to be enjoyed overlooking the river, or on it in a flat-bottomed boat
If the crocs don't scare you, one of the best ways to see the gorges is by canoe or kayak
If they do, well that's kind of sad, but you can play it safe and get a stunning aerial view of the park on an epic helicopter tour above the canyons.