If you thought bringing a Swiss Army knife onboard your flight to Great Falls was a crazy idea, guess again; that's amateur hour. Right now, some of America's best and brightest are packing their holiday luggage with everything from throwing stars and stun guns to daggers and hand grenades, seemingly unaware that security even exists at airports (and you questioned our idea of a license to fly?).
Lucky for us, the TSA documents everything that's confiscated during screenings -- here are a few of the craziest items people have tried to bring on board.
C-4 plastic explosives
Honolulu International Airport
"Toothpaste? Check. Floss? Check. C-4? Hmmm, where did I put the C-4?". Yes, a passenger in Honolulu actually packed two bars of inert explosives into his carry-on bag, along with one Blu-ray of The Hurt Locker
. JK! Great movie though.
9. Hidden knife comb
Denver International Airport
"Nope, nothing to see here. Just combing my locks with this totally innocent looking plastic pink comb. Nothing strange about this totally disposable comb I bought at Rite Aid". That's the fictional dialogue we imagine this Einstein had whilst trying to sneak through with this seemingly harmless gem. Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, another flier upped the ante with a full-on steel hairbrush dagger.
Chicago Midway International Airport
We’re not talking about the potent liquid people spray in an attacker’s eyes. No, that would almost make sense. We're talking about the badass spiked-ball-and-chain (otherwise known as a Flail) that warriors would crack over each others' heads during medieval battles. Naturally, you wouldn't think those
would make the no-fly list of weapons.
7. Claymore mine
San Jose International Airport
"Sure, I have to scan my 4oz bottle of contact solution, but I can't imagine this military-grade Claymore mine would raise any red flags". That must've been the inner-monologue of the San Jose passenger who packed both a mine and
a hand grenade into his checked luggage.
6. Credit card knife
Albuquerque International Sunport
Ok, so that's actually a pretty sweet little folding knife. Then again, if you have enough time to flip through your wallet and fold a credit card into an origami knife, you probably aren't in that much danger.
5. Grenade-shaped tobacco grinder
San Francisco International Airport
Plenty of boring old (and very real new) grenades are discovered by TSA employees each week. Ho-hum. So you can imagine their excitement when an SFO passenger mixed it up with a tobacco grinder that was shaped
like a grenade. Mind = blown. Pun = intended.
4. A fake bomb
St. Pete-Clearwater International Airport
There are two sad things about the confiscation of this metal box bomb with fake dynamite. One, it was probably going to be a pretty awesome gift and somebody was deprived of receiving it. That's a shame. Two, there is actually a person in the St. Petersburg/ Clearwater area so
dumb, he or she did not at all comprehend that bringing this aboard would be a problem. Obviously, not everyone is blessed with the gift of intelligence, but if ever there was a case to be made for natural selection, this is probably it.
3. Cigarette stun gun
Cleveland Hopkins International Airport
As it turns out, stun guns can be disguised as just about anything: Brass knuckles, cell phones, tubes of lipstick that are totally not your color because you're actually an Autumn -- you name it. In this case, a passenger in Cleveland tried to slip this cigarette pack stun gun through the scanner.
2. Black powder
Chicago Midway International Airport
Fun fact: Black (gun) powder was the first documented chemical explosive. Look it up. Regular fact: While you can tote properly-packaged ammunition in checked bags, you still cannot bring gun powder onboard. More importantly, you cannot bring 24 POUNDS of gun powder, as one passenger at Chicago’s Midway airport attempted to do. Denied.
1. Knife mounted on a wheeled walker
John F. Kennedy International Airport
While you normally wouldn't expect anything more than, say, a tennis ball to be affixed to Grandma's walker, one passenger went the extra mile and stashed a butter knife on his. Which makes total sense, as you never know when the urge to apply prune jam to Kashi crackers will strike.