10. People who have seen the world, man
Sure, you're going to meet plenty of amaaazing Australians who are cool, and who totally love to drink, and who also hate One Direction as much as you, but you're also likely to be subjected to many late-night jam sessions and discussions on the socio-economic implications of American cultural imperialism (is that even something?) and the geopolitics of the Syrian conflict that you'll be begging for a hotel room with ESPN Deportes.
Unfortunately, this one is more figurative than literal. Want a towel? That's gonna cost you a few Euro. Want some stale Chex? A few Krona more. How about some sheets (boy, aren't you high maintenance)? No seriously, some hostels actually charge a linen fee. Otherwise, enjoy sprawling out on that bed bug-infested army cot.
11. Tight arses
Not as common these days, but some youth hostels still enforce a nighttime curfew, ensuring you're safely tucked in reading the latest Nancy Drew novel whilst the cool kids are out doing the Dougie, or whatever the hep new dance is these days.