Travel

The 14 worst things about travel during Thanksgiving

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Moving away from your hometown has some great benefits. Like people don’t see you on Facebook and say, “Still hanging out with those guys, huh?” And your brother can never ask you to babysit. But one of the few times a year that you really regret living away is Thanksgiving, when you and millions of other Americans have to pack up the car or jump on a plane to get home for the holidays.

And the experience is roughly about as painful as jury duty.

But as much as there is wrong with Thanksgiving travel, there are some aspects of it that are... absolutely awful. And these are them.

1. Jacked-up airfares

If you wanna leave on Wednesday after work and return Sunday night before The Walking Dead, there may actually be cheaper flights to the moon.
 

2. Packed planes

Just go ahead and check a bag because those overhead compartments WILL be filled with Black Friday purchases before they even think about boarding Zone 2.

3. Airports full of amateurs

Now you have entire FAMILIES of people who don’t understand that the guy yelling, “Remove your shoes and belt” is talking to them too.


4. Flight delays

By hour five of sitting on the floor during a snow delay at O’Hare (only the nation's most delayed airport this time of year), you start to wonder why the pilgrims didn’t anticipate cross country air travel when they planned this stupid holiday.

5. The sad plastic-wrapped plate of leftovers

Somehow your mom thinks two pathetic pieces of turkey (dark meat, ALWAYS dark meat), a scoop of hard mashed potatoes, and cold, soggy stuffing will be enough to fill you up after an eight-hour plane delay caused you to miss the big Turkey Day dinner. Thanks.
 

6. Sleeping in your childhood bed

The fact that it’s a twin mattress and your feet dangle off the end is tolerable. The monsters under it, however, are not.


7. Hotels are sold out -- or worse, full of children

If you opt to NOT sleep in that lumpy twin bed, there isn't a hotel room within  miles. And on the off-chance you do get a room, it will 100% share an adjoining door with a family with three children under five.

8. Traffic. Everywhere.

If you want to play a fun game, count how many times your Dad says, “What is going ON up there?’ while stuck in traffic 300 miles from the nearest city.


9. The rental car counter will be out of the car you reserved

Guess what? Everyone else wanted an SUV too. Here’s a Kia that smells like menthols. Consider it prep for your visit to Grandma's house. You’re welcome. 


10. Wherever you’re driving, it WILL rain

Axl Rose clearly never tried driving home the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

11. Eating dinner at a restaurant your grandparents choose

Even though they find iceberg lettuce and powdered mashed potatoes absolutely delectable when they go for the Early Bird, somehow it's a little bit of a letdown.


12. Realizing how much it costs to get your Black Friday purchases home

Those four X-boxes you scored by trampling a 60-year-old lady aren't so cheap when you have to throw down $75 for a second checked bag.

13. The intense dilemma of volunteering for a later flight

There are papal appointments that involve less consideration than deciding whether a $300 ticket voucher is worth spending another seven hours at DFW. And before you call your boss to tell him your flight was “delayed” and that you won’t be in Monday, just know you’ll be surprised how little a $20 meal voucher gets you at Chili’s.


14. Bathrooms on the flight home

Yeah, the 400-pound guy who just walked out of the lavatory in front of you had a big turkey dinner too.