When a vacation goes off the rails, you get bummed. Normal vacations always go off the rails because they are rife with unknowns. You’ve spent money and vacation days, yet you’re no happier for your trouble. And guess what?! Now you have to go back to work and tell everyone how much fun you had! This is a mild form of torture, and you may suffer it simply because you didn’t plan your vacation around food.
By their very nature, our basic meals -- breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, second dinner, couch dinner, and traditional midnight cry-falafel -- offer brief respite from life’s myriad disappointments. The same is true of vacation. This is not a coincidence.
When you anchor your entire trip around eating and drinking, instead of silly things like action sports or sculpture, you hedge against bad weather, and circumstance, and Carl. You may be underwhelmed by a historic battlefield, but nothing tastes as boring as learning history feels.
So go forth, my gluttonous globetrotters! Plan barbecue odysseys to Austin, pizza tours to Naples, and dumpling sojourns to... well, pretty much anywhere, because all sorts of cultures make dumplings! Hooray! Forget about trying to “soak up” the “local culture” of Montreal, or Montevideo, or Manilla, and focus your energy on trying to eat & drink it instead.
I can’t promise your next vacation will be transcendent if you do this, but I can promise that it won’t suck.
(Unless you go with Carl Icahn. Dude’s the worst.)
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Dave Infante is a senior writer for Thrillist. Follow @dinfontay on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.