Tell Philleas Fogg to suck it, and go 'round the world in Four Seasons while still somehow massively outpacing him …because you're actually taking a private jet, and staying in luxury hotels
Start saving now because in March 2014, your route will take you to 10 legendary globe-spanning destos in a "specially outfitted" private 757, w/ leather seats and global WiFi, plus its own air crew, chef, physician, expedition managers, concierge, and luggage handers (in case anything needs throwing)
Even an around the world voyage begins with a single step. You'll be leaving fresh prints in Beverly Hills, where you'll hit the Wilshire for a Michelin-starred banquet to get things going.
Next up's the largest of all of the Hawaiian islands (inventively named the Big Island) for heli rides and a trip to a local coffee plantation, plus snorkeling, paddleboarding & outrigger canoeing
Because it's conveniently nearby, you'll then hit Bora Bora to snorkel some more, witness "rays swimming and feeding", and stay in a water bungalow.
Next, prepare to cross the international date line, which instead of involving dinner & a movie with a foreign chick, actually involves losing a whole day on your way to Sydney, where you'll get to go behind the scenes of the Opera House
After that, it's Thailand, Indonesia, and Bali, which'll variously offer elephant rides, addictively fun white-water rafting, and in that vein, an opium museum
India will feature essentials like the Taj, Gandhi's house, and the Dhobi Ghat, billed as the "the world’s largest open-air laundry", which you'd be hard-pressed to beat.
The penultimate leg of your journey will find you in Istanbul, staying next to the massive Hagia Sophia, hitting the Grand Bazaar, and possibly losing another day the old-fashioned way at this sweet bar
Finally, it's London on April 4th (staying just off Hyde Park in a spot with a glass-walled rooftop spa), where you'll have a farewell dinner, and possibly, knowing London's weather, the Fogg will get its revenge…