Current slogan: Pure Michigan
Michigan takes a lot of pride in its very shape, a high-five that Canada forever left hanging. But Michigan's also proud of its perpetual comebacks. Downtown Detroit is so tough its greatest landmark is a massive, hanging bronze statue of Joe Louis' fist.
Michigan also knows how to chill, though. Check out one of Michigan's great beach towns, or Sleeping Bear Dunes, where you can sit on one of Lake Michigan's beaches, listen to some Jimmy Buffett, play in the frigid water, and shiver.
Better slogan: You Can Buy a House With a Promise to Mow the Lawn
Current slogan: Land of 10,000 Lakes
Here's a summary of the official tourism bureau’s top 10 things to do in Minnesota: 1) check out produce, 2) drink, 3) drive around, and 4) just, you know, have fun. There are more -- I forget them, but assume one is digging your car out of a snow drift.
Minnesotans are famously nice. They have to be, because, during the winters, they constantly live in space station-like close quarters. And because everyone is still lobbing Fargo accents at them after all these years.
Better slogan: Land of More Lakes Than Anyone Seriously Bothered to Count