Want more? Here’s everything you need to know to take a polite, efficient dump on the plane.
Your timing is everything
Finding the right time to hit the loo on a plane is an art form, right up there with painting and good Botox. Go too early, and you’ll risk the whole plane knowing it was you who stunk up the joint. Go too late and, well, it’s a pretty uncomfortable flight.
The best time to poop on a plane is right after the flight attendants bust out the beverage cart. Most people won’t get up and risk getting stuck behind it, so you won’t fight lines, and it’s unlikely that you’ll find anyone waiting when you get out.
If you miss that opportunity, go when there’s a small (keyword: small) line for the lav. There will be an inherent diffusion of defecation, whereas it’ll be hard to pin down who, exactly, was the pooper.