Bikers, but not the scary kind
These are the OLD bikers. They drive the motorcycles that aren't too fast and have side pockets so big you seriously wonder if they brought a colostomy bag on a motorcycle trip. They wear all black Harley stuff, even though they wouldn’t know Crystal meth form Crystal Pepsi. And are about as threatening as bikers as RuPaul was as a boxer.
Super "frugal," early retirement couples
They’re probably not even 50, but think they’ve somehow beaten the system because they were able to retire young... to an RV. They’re typically dressed in head to toe LL Bean, purchased at Goodwill because only suckers pay full price at Outdoor World. They’ll regale you with stories about how they worked jobs, but did shit like steal ketchup packets so they could “live the lifestyle.” Never really explaining what that “lifestyle” is, but it somehow involves condiment theft. They drive a motor home that gets six miles to the gallon, are ALWAYS childless, and listen to weird Caribbean/World music. And will not hesitate to tell you they’re cultured because they saw Moab in an RV and made it all the way to Scottsdale.
A few murderers on the run
Because one of these people is DEFINITELY that. And it's probably Steve.
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Matt Meltzer is a staff writer with Thrillist. Follow his summer kamping adventures on Instagram @meltrez1.