How to survive an endless road trip with two other dudes
I wondered how three friends, even close ones, managed to stay on tour without ever up and killing one another.
“We’re in a red mini-van right now,” Corey informs me, “because Drew reserved an SUV for the wrong weeks.”
In response, Drew leans directly into my recorder and shares some feedback on Corey’s intelligence and personality that are unsuitable for print. This is going exactly as well as you might expect. The whiskey has counteracted any possible calming effects from the contraband Asian tea.
Turns out the team has been in the air for the last few months, renting cars for any longer layovers. Along the way, they’ve blighted a long trail of hotel rooms and comedy condos -- rooms owned by larger clubs for the talent to stay in.
“You ever see the comedy condo in Denver?” I’m asked. I have. It is surprisingly nice, but also filled with children’s toys, which can get creepy in the right hands.
“We left some art on the walls there,” Drew informs me, “but it was made from cheese. We wrote on it that the art was indeed made from cheese instead of paint, so if they have a smell, they’ll know where that comes from.”
Tonight, the boys are finally staying at their first Airbnb. Throughout the interview, the host keeps texting to make sure her cat is OK. I repeatedly inform them that this is unusual activity for an Airbnb and that cat-sitting probably falls beneath their duties as jet-setting comedy superstars on the rise.
I ask how they stay alive on the road. “We’ve had to stop drinking,” comes the reply, while we all ignore the drink order we placed. “We’d drink and eat in the morning and pass out for a nap and it was unsustainable,” Trae says. “There’s an unending series of excuses. ‘Oh, we’re in this new city’ or ‘Oh, this guy is around’ or ‘Oh, we don’t have anything else to do.’ And some of us were gaining weight.”
Drew chimes in: “This is the first day on tour we went for a run. We’ve been saying we were going to do it... since May.”
There’s a round of eastern Tennessee laughs.