Talk about being Catfished.
The world's most famous mythical creature,
Tom Cruise's heterosexuality the Loch Ness Monster, is apparently not some relic of the Mesozoic Era, but rather, a large entree available at Cracker Barrel. Yes, according one expert, the Loch Ness Monster is a Hickory-Smoked Country Ham gigantic catfish. And yes, that's two strikethrough jokes in one paragraph.
"Looking at all the evidence, speaking to eyewitnesses, the most likely solution is a Wels catfish," Steve Feltham told Sky News.
Feltham has dedicated the last 24 years of his life to investigating the mysterious beast, abandoning his girlfriend, house, and job to pursue Nessie. So you know he's legit.