Thrillist Bachelor Party Guide
Travel

The definitive Miami bachelor party guide

Published On 06/05/2014 Published On 06/05/2014
Rx Pool Parties
FONTAINEBLEAU

OLD HAT

RX POOL PARTIES
Red The Steakhouse
CLUB SPACE
BIG PINK

STEFAN GROSJEAN
E11EVEN
DRPAVLOFF

TRANSIT MIAMI
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1. Fontainebleau Miami Beach 4441 Collins Avenues, Miami Beach, FL 33140 (Miami Beach)

This sprawling resort features more than 1,500 guestrooms, a 40,000sqft spa, 12 restaurants, four nightlife venues, and 10 pools. Basically, you'll never have to leave once you get here.

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2. Freehand Miami 2727 Indian Creek Drive , Miami Beach, FL 33140 (Miami Beach)

Built in the iconic Indian Creek Hotel, this hip hostel is the one-stop destination for cheap lodging, great food, and vibrant social interaction. And while the location is within spitting distance of the beach, the venue embodies none of the brow-raising, exclusive pretentions of other waterfront venues, instead offering a warm, outdoors atmosphere for travelers and locals alike.

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3. Shore Club 1901 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This art deco-styled hotel is home to some excellent parties every Sunday; the pool's worth checking out too, especially if you spring for one of the seven bungalows.

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4. Hyde Beach at the SLS Hotel 1701 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

Hyde Beach's known for its great atmosphere and Thursday night pool parties. You'll wanna book a seat in advance, as this place fills up quick.

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5. The Clevelander 1020 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Miami is notorious for housing debaucherous Spring Breaks, which isn’t fair because a lot of places in Miami don’t reflect that parties-gone-wild mentality you’re picturing right now… but a lot of them do. The Clevelander is one of those places that does: it’s reminiscent of everything you think of when anyone utters the words “Spring Break,” mostly because it’s one of the founding fathers of those ubiquitous, raging parties on South Beach. The art-deco hotel’s three poolside bars serve tropical frozen drinks and plenty of American bar favorites (burgers, pizzas, salads, snacks), and the weekday happy hours and weekend brunches are the perfect excuse to see-and-be-seen on one of the busiest patios on South Beach.

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6. Wet Willie's 760 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

Willie's is famous for its delicious, frozen, alcoholic beverages such as the "Call-a-Cab" -- a drink that's comprised of basically every form of alcohol known to man. If that's too intense for you, grab a daiquiri and some cheese fries.

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7. Nikki Beach 1 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Luxurious white chairs and umbrellas define the palm-lined beach at Nikki's Beach club, a "party playground for jet setters, celebrities, VIPs, guests, and visitors alike". Soo fancy, right? Well, you, average non-celebrity-or-VIP, can hit up this spot to nosh, booze, or lounge at the nightclub.

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8. Red, The Steakhouse 119 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Once voted Sexiest Steakhouse of the Year (by Playboy, no less) and beloved by A-listers, Red delivers on all the swanky fronts. But we suggest you let the food -- from appetizers like seared foie gras and caviar with crème fraiche to the steak and seafood entrées -- do the talking. Throw in a fully-loaded wine list, and the fact that Red is one of the few places in the country to use Miyazaki beef (like Kobe but more marbled), and you've got a steak night to remember.

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9. E11EVEN Miami 29 NE 11th St, Miami, FL 33132 (Downtown)

Burlesque performances? Check. Big-name DJs? Yeah. LED screens, a stage with a (cough, cough) pole, plus straight-off-the-carving board eats like pulled pork sliders 24 HOURSA DAY?! Miami's hottest dayclub, E11EVEN, is delivering all of the above, plus bottle service, and scantily clad dancers who are wayyy more likely to hang out if you buy said bottle service and post up in one the leather booths lining the dance floor/balcony.

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10. Puerto Sagua Restaurant 700 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL 33010 (Miami Beach)

Down-home cooking is alive and well at Puerto Sagua, where you can score heaping helpings of Pollo Asado, sweet plantains, and just about any other Cuban dish you can think of.

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11. Havana 1957 Cuban Cuisine 819 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This is the spot to hit for authentic Cuban dishes like Ropa Vieja, Vaca Frita, and the ever-popular Cuban sandwich laden with pickles, roast pork, ham, and swiss. The coffee's not bad either!

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12. Abuela's Cuban Kitchen 1654 Meridian Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

Abuela's is THE place to go if you're jonesin' for traditional, home-cooked Cuban flavor. It'll be just like your grandma used to make, if she was Cuban and owned a restaurant.

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13. De Rodriguez Ocean 101 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

With poolside seating and a revamped interior with lots of aged wood, Ocean plates Doug Rodriguez's Nuevo Latino take on the sea, this time with some Asian influence: ceviches including Thai lobster coconut w/ ginger, or tuna watermelon w/ kumquat, yuzu, and Thai basil, plus entrees like seared adobo tuna.

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14. Club Space 34 NE 11th St, Miami, FL 33132 (Downtown)

This over-the-top club is located in a multi-story warehouse, and comes complete with live DJs and a rooftop terrace. Thanks to its 24-hours license, lots of lasers, and pretty lights, the after-after-after-hours club is Miami's greatest freak show, and likely the only 10+-year-old club that can lay claim to such subsisting fame.

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15. Mango's Tropical Cafe 900 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

While the name suggests a family-friendly, rainforest-themed coffee spot, Mango's is actually a hot dance club filled with Latin women, expensive drinks, and blacklight parties.

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16. Bâoli Miami 1906 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

A French/Mediterrean restaurant that transforms into a late-night lounge with a garden and VIP section, and club that's hosted celebrity DJs like Bob Sinclair and David Guetta.

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17. Mac's Club Deuce 222 14th St, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

I’m going to be honest, if Playboy names a bar one of the best in America, I would blindly agree. Mac’s Club Deuce really is, though, and not only because it’s withstood the ever-changing tides of Miami nightlife, but because it hasn’t conformed to the glitz or glam of its peers and still remains one of the greatest dive bars in the country. The black-tiled, neon-lit bar stands today as it did in 1926 when it opened, just a touch more worn and beer-soaked. Mac’s is open from 8am until dawn the next day, and during a large chunk of that (11 hours, to be exact), regulars post up for two-for-one happy hour, because at Mac’s, more than just one hour is happy -- 11 of them are.

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18. Lost Weekend 218 Espanola Way, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

This somewhat-divey bar boasts a stand-up selection of food, including shrimp po' boys and pizza, with a quality assortment of beer and mixed drinks to match. Try your hand at the pool table, dart board, air hockey table, or foosball table.

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19. Ted's Hideaway 124 2nd St, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Whether you're stopping by for happy hour specials or to watch the game, this dive bar's got your bases covered.

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20. Yard House 1681 Lenox Ave, Miami, FL 33133 (Miami Beach)

The central island bar at Yard House is ringed by an impressive array of tap handles, ranging from familiar classics to intriguing selections you've never actually seen in person before. On top of all that, the menu of American fusion cuisine includes street taco plates, steaks, pan-seared ahi tuna, and roasted turkey pot pie.

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21. The Abbey Brewing Company 1115 16th St, Miami, FL 33139 (South Beach)

The Abbey's got a roomy, refurbished wood-lined interior well stocked with draft pours and spirits. Come for the bar snacks, stay for the friendly congenial atmosphere and solid happy hour deals.

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22. Rio Station 625 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

It's always happy hour at Rio Station with $4-beers, all-day breakfast, an excellent line-up of paninis and 20 different smoothie options.

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23. Burger & Beer Joint 1766 Bay Rd, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Burger & Beer Joint titles itself as the "Miami Gourmet Burger headquarters". Come grab a massive gourmet burger along with your favorite brew. The two will be a match made in heaven.

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24. Cheeseburger Baby 1505 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Like its name suggests, Cheeseburger Baby's all about the burgers -- don't let that fool you into thinking that the other menu items aren't worth a try, though. The double-decker grilled cheese in particular is all you could ever want in a cheese sandwich, and the chicken finger sandwich takes a classic app and slaps it in between two giant slabs of Texas Toast. Yum.

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25. The Big Pink 157 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

The Big Pink's a family-style restaurant that plates just about every form of comfort food you can imagine, from waffles and pizza to the famous Big Pink TV Dinner. There's also a large number of flatscreen TVs lining the walls, allowing you to catch up on sports while you down your chow.

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26. 11th Street Diner 1065 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This late night diner, made famous by Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, has a retro art deco decor, plus all your favorite greasy diner eats.

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27. Maxine's Bistro & Bar 1756 Collins Ave, Miami, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Because it's nestled into a hotel, you can score the delicious, comfort-foody eats at Maxine's (sliders, mac and cheese, pizzas, etc) 24hrs a day.

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28. Pizza Rustica 863 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This dough-slingin' chain, with locations sprinkled over SoFla, serves up za with fresh ingredients and creative recipes, ranging from traditional pies to dessert pizzas.

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29. The Playwright Irish Pub & Restaurant 1265 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (South Beach)

Nestled between Mansion and Cameo, The Playwright serves up traditional Irish bar food and has plenty of specials on pitchers of brews. Although this bar can get a little wild on Friday and Saturday night, there is something unforgettable about its grittiness and untamed debauchery. Needless to say, it's the perfect place to let loose.

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30. Automatic Slims 1216 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This dive bar is jam-packed with hot bartenders in barely-there shirts and skirts, and the music here is always guaranteed to get your blood pumping. Also, the bartenders will; did we mention they're really hot?

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31. Wonderland 7778 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL 33138 (North Miami)

Mixing 1950s burlesque with South Beach bottle service, VIP touches, Wonderland is a clash of old and new that makes for the most relaxing, luxurious strip club environment in Miami. Yes, it's only topless (unless you opt for a private room with one of the dancers, where those sorts of things are, as always, negotiable) but the dancers aren't allowed to hassle you for tips and the food is as good as any restaurant not called Blue Collar.

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32. Scarlett's Cabaret 2920 SW 30th Ct, Miami, FL 33133

This bottle-service-style strippery in Hollandale is massive (a half-dozen stipper poles; lounge, vip, and bar areas; and a tiered VIP area), boast some pretty massive deals (free happy hour eats from 12-6p, constant drink specials, etc.), and has some... um, massively talented employees, who'll at least make you feel like YOU are.

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33. Club Madonna 1527 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139 (Miami Beach)

This oft sued-by-the-actual-Madonna spot, is Miami Beach's only gentleman's club, is BYOB, and is a constant thorn in the side of city government, but that's OK 'cause... well, naked women! Naked women who dance in very purple, pop-art splashed space, where given the lack of drink/food/other entertainment options, you've really got no choice but to watch.