Why are you so nice all the time?
It's actually really complicated, but fix yourself some hot dish, read this, and you'll understand much, much better.
Have you checked the national obesity rates recently?
*Spills sweet tea all over laptop*
What was it like growing up in the South?
Missouri is most definitely the Midwest. Though you could be forgiven for being confused if you're in the Ozarks.
Do you know Joe Montana? Wait... do you know HANNAH Montana?
Oddly, people with the last name "Montana" are not terribly common in Montana. However, Joe Mantegna does visit on occasion. Particularly during huckleberry season.
Can you do something about this?
*Takes out a bag of unhusked corn and stares pointedly, slowly raising eyebrows while backing away deliberately*