This must be what pirates felt like right before they were hanged.
That’s about all I could think as I stood on a trapdoor, high above the top deck of a ship sailing through the Caribbean. The sun beat through what felt like a see-through coffin, a plastic chamber surrounding the trap door just big enough for me and my deep-friend nerves. Looking out, all I saw was clear blue sky and turquoise water, knowing those would be my last sights before I dropped into an abyss.
Out of nowhere, a chorus of “Hallelujah!” came blasting into my little coffin, a musical take on the classic warning “may God have mercy on your soul.” As the last Hallelujah finished, the door snapped open, and I hurdled straight down a watery path faster than any waterslide on land, or at sea.
The next few seconds are a blur of sunlight shining through water as it skids over my body. I down, I go up, I hit 50 mph sliding out over the ocean below. It’s about 15 seconds of adrenaline, ending with a grand stop on the pool deck of the Norwegian Bliss right in front of a bar. Much nicer way to end than a condemned pirate.
The waterslide -- dubbed Ocean Loops -- is one of many heart-pounding attractions aboard the ironically named Norwegian Bliss. The latest offering from Norwegian Cruise Lines is a nearly 1,000-foot behemoth of a ship that houses over 5,700 people, 20 restaurants, 13 bars, three live shows, two waterslides, and an infinite amount of intensity. After taking a spin on it during one of its inaugural sailings out of Miami, I’ve got some highlights for you.