1. Be careful when feeding the wildlife; animals bite
Cypress Cove Resort in Kissimmee, FL, knows that just because you’re going au naturel, it doesn’t mean Mother Nature’s your BFF. Sure, it’s sexy when your lady gives you a little nibble, but Alvin and his chipmunks might not be so gentle. Luckily, this rule is in place to remind you those little suckers do, indeed, eat nuts. Also, beware of alligators as they can bite your wang clean off.
2. Jewelry that attracts a lot of attention is not welcome
Probably smart advice anywhere, but several nudist properties, including Cypress Cove, Caliente Club & Resorts, and Berkshire Vista Resort in Hancock, MA (happy coincidence or brilliant marketing strategy?), do not invite Prince Albert to the party (either in a can or otherwise), and frown upon large jewelry, displayed on genitalia or elsewhere.