Berryessa Snow Mountain, California: Covers 331,000 acres in Northern California, and was referred to by the administration as "biodiversity hot spot" -- so, it's California's hottest club. Great place to pick up bald eagles, you heard it here first.
Waco Mammoth, Texas: Holds the remains of 65,000 year-old Columbian mammoths; moderately lively and somewhat dusty.
Basin and Range, Nevada: Just outside of Vegas -- 1,100 sqmi of desert valley, mountain ranges, and prehistoric rock art panels perfect for that post-elopement freak-out.
Lucy Meilus is a staff writer for Thrillist and doesn't understand why there are no monuments dedicated to her. Follow her to narcissism on Twitter at @Lucymeilus and send news tips to email@example.com.