Mount Rushmore is sooo 1941. You know what kind of monuments are 2015 appropriate? Ones that hold the bones of exceptionally old mammoths, of course.
President Obama announced today he's designating three new national monuments in California, Texas, and Nevada. According to the New York Times, Berryessa Snow Mountain in California, Waco Mammoth in Texas, and the Basin and Range in Nevada have all been preserved under the Antiquities Act of 1906.
Together, these monuments cover more than 260 million acres of public land and bring the total number of national monuments that Obama has established or expanded to 19. "One of the great legacies of this incredible country of ours is our national parks and national monuments,” Obama said. “It is something that we pass on from generation to generation, preserving the incredible beauty of this nation, but also reminding us of the richness of its history."
Here's a highly informative guide to help you get to know your newly minted national monuments:
Berryessa Snow Mountain, California: Covers 331,000 acres in Northern California, and was referred to by the administration as "biodiversity hot spot" -- so, it's California's hottest club. Great place to pick up bald eagles, you heard it here first.
Waco Mammoth, Texas: Holds the remains of 65,000 year-old Columbian mammoths; moderately lively and somewhat dusty.
Basin and Range, Nevada: Just outside of Vegas -- 1,100 sqmi of desert valley, mountain ranges, and prehistoric rock art panels perfect for that post-elopement freak-out.
Lucy Meilus is a staff writer for Thrillist and doesn't understand why there are no monuments dedicated to her. Follow her to narcissism on Twitter at @Lucymeilus and send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.