Playboy just released its ranking of America's 25 Sexiest Cities in 2015, and the results are truly shocking: Kansas City, MO took the no. 1 spot.
Just kidding! It's New York, because it's always New York.
For the ranking, Playboy conducted two surveys: one was a general ranking of cities based on population, and the other analyzed the "attitudes and lifestyles" of people in the top five cities. Playboy also teamed up with Nerdwallet to come up with nightlife data (i.e. number of bars, restaurants, and other entertainment outlets per 1,000 people), and considered walkability, because everyone knows how unsexy driving to a restaurant is.
New York's placement in the no. 1 spot is due to its nightlife, easy transportation, hot people, and "prime quality" sex, which New Yorkers are apparently having 138 times per year on average. Congratulations, guys! With a number like that, who cares that you live in a ground-floor closet and subsist exclusively on saltines from 2012, right?!? The city is also apparently very into BDSM. Fun! In at no. 2 is LA, and no 3. is Chicago. Portland also made it onto the list, coming in at no. 10 -- because Playboy is still totally hip and knows that weird is sexy, you guys.
According to Playboy, this is what makes a city sexy: "A combination of hot locals, cool nightlife, a great setting and an undercurrent of desire." May your undercurrents of desire runneth over, friends.
Here are the top 10 sexy cities:
10. Portland, OR
9. San Diego, CA
8. Las Vegas, NV
7. Seattle, WA
6. Boston, MA
5. San Francisco, CA
4. Miami, FL
3. Chicago, IL
2. Los Angeles, CA
1. New York, NY
Lucy Meilus is a staff writer for Thrillist and thinks you're all just okay. Follow her on Twitter at @Lucymeilus and send news tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.