When Chris Rock said there's no sex in the Champagne Room, he couldn't have been referring to the Sweet Suite that is Cove Haven Resort's Champagne Tower: a red & gold, glammed out, four-level love station that was designed with a specific kind of pole dancing in mind.
Rent This Mexican Estate for as Little as $24/Person a Night
The main attraction: a 7ft Champagne glass whirlpool accessed by the top floor. Nakedly embrace like no one's... er, taking pictures.
Lovebirds looking for something less bubbly can dip into the in-suite, heated, heart-shaped swimming pool.
The round king-size bedroom has something called a "celestial ceiling", which properly translates to a "watch-yourself-do-it ceiling".