Rent this private <em>Lost</em>-style island complete with helicopters, jet skis, and zero smoke-monsters

Claiming to be the "most exclusive island in the Mediterranean" (oh come on Malta, you'll let anyone in), Tagomago is a rentable private paradise off the coast of Spain, filled with ultra-lux touches, and which can only be accessed by heli, or a sole access point at sea level.

This small blip on the map is less than a mile long, is surrounded by turquoise blue waters, and features two buildings: a light house, and "La Casa" -- soon to be known as su casa.

La Casa's pretty freaking big, which is understandable because, um, there are no neighbors.

Obviously there's a giant-ass pool, too.

La Casa features five spacious double bedrooms all with en-suite bathrooms "for added privacy", as if being alone on an island wasn't quite enough.

If you're worried about foraging for your next meal, don't sweat it. La Casa's small cadre of staff includes a private cook, other kitchen folk, and a housekeeper.

There's also a captain on hand to sail you to prime areas of the island for fishing and diving, but you can also opt for heli rides & jet skiing. Or you can simply retreat to one of the many pool-side "day beds", which you can only hope won't be a totally exclusive spot.