The most cocksure great white operation in the world

Seems like every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a commerical fishing boat, rusty cage, and bucket of chum runs a "dive with the sharks", which's why we've gone to great lengths (i.e., hours of perusing shark pictures online) to tell bring you the most badass of them all. Calling South Africa's "Shark Alley" home, Shark Cage Diving is skippered by a Quint-like former hunter of great whites who is so sure of his ability to find you a bloody-mouthed behemoth that he's the only operation to offer a full money-back guarantee if you don't have a pants-sh*ttingly frightening encounter. The deets:

After a "non-greasy" continental breakfast, you'll depart picturesque Kleinbaai Harbor for a place called Dyer Island. You will ignore God's not-so-subtle warning and press on

Innocent sea lions may cause your nervousness to momentarily subside

Once anchored, the crew will toss a top-secret chum mixture (it's definitely got bloody meat) into the water and prepare the cages

Step down into the cage... CHUM, CHUM, CHUM, CHUM

Once the lid shuts you'll smile idiotically as they lower you to your death into the water

Thanks to the masterful guidance of the skipper and the impossible-to-resist chum, you will then see this coming at you

And, just like that, outta the cage!