Spirit's Doing $69 Flights, Because It's Apparently Run by 14-Year-Olds
Right now, the airline's offering $69 round-trip flights, or $34.50 one-way flights, departing from 42 airports across the country, to destinations like New York, Las Vegas, Miami, and Haiti, among others. But if you know what's good for you, you won't book a flight on Spirit to Haiti. One's a beleaguered, third-world cesspool; the other's Haiti.
The $69 promo celebrates the airline now having 69 planes in its fleet, and because it's Spirit's "favorite number." Seriously. Read this absurd promo text.
We've been waiting to hit 69 planes for years. It's our favorite number - ever since we were twelve and found that magazine under our brother's bed (the one with the fantastic articles). #69 is perfect: just the right size, with a cockpit that's in your face (because it's bright yellow).
The sale only applies select dates throughout April and May, but flights can only be booked through today, 3/17, at 11:59pm. You'll have to move quick to get your 69 on.
And another super unsexy caveat: you have to join the carrier’s $9 Fare Club, to take advantage of the sale, an additional $59.95. So it's more like $128.99, which looks more like something you'd hear about involving the emperor Caligula than a sale price.
Additionally, because Spirit is Spirit, you still have to pay for baggage, advance seat assignment, and a bunch of other nonsensical fees.