Remember your advantages
The 8-10 years or so you have of partying and ineptly trying to pick up women has taught you something. Mostly that you’re inept at picking up women, but also stuff like how to pace yourself when you’re drinking, and when to suggest to a woman she should probably not have that third shot of Old Crow.
You’ve also probably got something most kids there don’t: money. Which means you have a nicer room that’s NOT filled with half of Phi Delt and -- if you’re in a country where booze is cheap -- you can afford things like bottle service and private tables at big clubs. Basically, you’re the poor man’s version of the rich old guy at the clubs who’s always surrounded by strippers. But, of course, you’re much better looking.
Bring something to the table
Did we say buy alcohol for people who aren’t old enough to legally purchase it, or bring some sort of illicit substance with you that college kids might ask for? No, we did NOT. Nor would we ever give you that kind of advice, because that is the most surefire way to end up sharing a jail cell with three cartel hitmen and a family of rats. That said, it’s never bad to have something that people want and can’t readily get.
Avoid these phrases
You may think you’re imparting wisdom on a younger generation, or just throwing around self-deprecating terms, but the more you talk about how you’re older, the more they’ll think of you that way and the less you’ll fit in. So aside from associating specific dates with ANYTHING, never under penalty of death say any of these things:
“Just can’t party like I used to”
“When I was in school…”
“Everyone just looks so YOUNG”
“You guys just don’t get it”
“I’m too old for that s**t”
“That last time I went on Spring Break...”
“My friend’s kid...”
“When you’re older…”
“I don’t drink well liquor”
"Doesn't work if I'm using condoms"