Every State's Nickname and Motto, Updated for 2015

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JENNIFER BUI/THRILLIST

You ever play a really long version of The License Plate Game on a road trip and, after staring at state names for five hours, start to wonder stuff like: “Where exactly are these gardens in New Jersey? And what is a tar heel, dammit?” The nicknames were created so long ago that nobody has any clue as to why. And state mottos aren’t much better. Many are in Latin and don’t seem to mean much, and even the ones in English are ho-hum at best -- "Agriculture and Commerce?" Way to get those hearts racing, Tennessee!

Yea, it's all so terribly outdated. Which is why we thought it'd be fun to come up with nicknames and mottos that are a little more reflective of what each state represents today.

State seal of Alabama
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Alabama

The Overzealous-College-Football-Fan-Reaction-Video State
Motto: I'm gonna be sick
 

Alaska

The Pipeline State
Motto: We’ll pay you to live here
 

Arizona

The Retirement State
Motto: But it's a dry hundred-and-fifteen
 

Arkansas

The Hot Springs State
Motto: No, those AREN'T rotten eggs

State seal of California
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California

The Red Tape and Regulation State
Motto: There’s a tax on that
 

Colorado

The Highest State
Motto: We’re talking about the mountains!
 

Connecticut

The Daytime Television State
Motto: You are NOT the father!
 

Delaware

The 21.99% APR state
Motto: You’re pre-approved!
 

Florida

The Idiot State
Motto: Who needs a brain when you’ve got a beach?

Georgia State seal
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Georgia

The Cheap Gas State
Motto: You’ll make it. Trust us.
 

Hawaii

The Reluctant State
Motto: Houle go home!
 

Idaho

The Separationist State
Motto: All we need are guns and potatoes
 

Illinois

The Corruption State
Motto: Every vote counts, and some count twice
 

Indiana

The Basketball State
Motto: We don’t get there with milk and cookies
 

Iowa

The Caucus State
Motto: We don’t really know why it’s important either
 

Kansas

The Creation State
Motto: Rock Chalk, no evolution talk!

Kentucky State Seal
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Kentucky

The Bourbon State
Motto: Whiskey for my men AND my horses
 

Louisiana

The Mardi Gras State
Motto: Don’t puke on me
 

Maine

The Lobster State
Motto: Our lobsters are way tastier than Florida's!
 

Maryland

The Crab State
Motto: Old Bay on everything!
 

Massachusetts

The State You Love to Hate
Motto: Count our trophies
 

Michigan

The Militia State
Motto: Except for Detroit, we’re beautiful!

Minnesota state seal
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Minnesota

The Fried-Food-on-a-Stick State
Motto: Oh, ya, you betcha!
 

Mississippi

The Last-In-Everything State
Motto: You’re welcome, South Carolina
 

Missouri

The Macro-Brew State
Motto: Brought to you by Budweiser. Budweiser, King of Beers.
 

Montana

The Celebrity Ranch State
Motto: We shoot paparazzi!
  

Nebraska

The Slaughterhouse State
Motto: It’ll go away once you get ‘bout five miles outta town
 

Nevada

The Casino State
Motto: No one ever lost money giving free liquor to gamblers
 

New Hampshire

The Relevant-Once-Every-Four-Years State
Motto: You care about us as often as you care about soccer

New Jersey State seal
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New Jersey

The Overcompensating State Pride State
Motto: I’m from JERSEY, yo!
 

New Mexico

The Breaking Bad State
Motto: Better call Saul!
 

New York

The We’re-Actually-a-State State
Motto: More than just Manhattan! Really.
 

North Carolina

The Tobacco State
Motto: *Cough* It’s perfectly *cough* fine *hack*

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North Dakota

The Fracking State
Motto: 0.2 Women for Every Guy
 

Ohio

The Exodus State
Motto: LeBron came back, so should you
 

Oklahoma

The Team-Stealing State
Motto: Thank you, David Stern!
 

Oregon

The Hipster State
Motto: We were a state before it was cool
 

Pennsylvania

The Yuengling State
Motto: Nah, you don’t really have a friend here
 

Rhode Island

The Family Guy State
Motto: Stop asking us about Quahog
 

South Carolina

The BMW State
Motto: Your “imported” car was built here

South Dakota state seal
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South Dakota

The Roadside Attraction State
Motto: What have YOU built out of corn?
 

Tennessee

The Jack Daniels State
Motto:  Buy it here, drink it elsewhere
 

Texas

The Tex-Free State
Motto: Our suburbs are your corporate headquarters!
 

Utah

The Mormon State
Motto: [Knock, knock] Hello! We’d love to talk to you about...

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Vermont

The Ben and Jerry’s State
Motto: Feeding America’s breakups

Virginia

The Almost-Southern State
Motto: Hey, we were in the Confederacy too!

Washington

The Suddenly a Football State
Motto: 12th man 'til death and/or an 8-8 season

West Virginia

The Couch Burning State
Motto: Where the 19th century still lives!

Wisconsin

The Plus-Size State
Motto: Beer and cheese are good for you

Wyoming

The Forgotten Square State
Motto: Draw America and we guarantee you'll forget to include us