STAGE 2: TIRE OF JUST ASKING, BE KIND OF JERKISH. CHANGE NAME IN CASE THEY'RE MONITORING.
Maggie: Welcome to Gogo. My name is Maggie.
Maggie: Hello Stevie
Stevie B: Ello Maggie. (I think that's how the Australians say "hello")
Maggie: How may I help you?
Stevie B: Is there any way to get Gogo for free? Like, something I can do, or say, or a god I can pray to?
Maggie: Our service is not available free of charge, unless there is an existing promotion. You can browse the free content found on our homepage which includes your airlines' website. Additionally, if you sign up to receive special news and offers from Gogo, we will send out new offers as they become available.
Stevie B: I think the free content is just eBay and Amazon, which means buying stuff. I'm obviously too cheap to buy stuff though.
Maggie: I apologize we do not have any promotions right now.
Stevie B: Do you think there might be something wrong with me? It's just $10, and I can't make myself pay it. Maybe some trauma from my youth?
Maggie: I apologize our services are not free if you want to use it you have to pay for it.
Stevie B: I know you're not a psychiatrist, I'm just looking for some answers.
Stevie B: Just a lonely man looking for answers.
Stevie B: There are a lot of us out there. It's a disconnected age.
Maggie: I have given you an answer, You need to pay for our services.
Stevie B: Disconnected from the internet.
Stevie B: Right. I know. I'm just trying to not pay. There's no secret password or anything? Like "Illuminati" or "Cat"?
Stevie B: Pirate argh.
Maggie: You have to make a purchase to get connected.
Stevie B: I'm connected right now! I mean, we're talking. About life and such. Which is mainly what I do on the Internet. In chat rooms.
Stevie B: Have you heard of AOL?
Maggie: Understand, do you have any other questions?
Stevie B: Tons!
Stevie B: But really life's all one big question, "Can I get free internet?" And I already asked that, so... happy holidays, and thanks for listening to me. You're very patient.
Maggie: No, Internet is not free today.
Stevie B: Right.
Maggie: Happy Holidays.
Stevie B: Stay classy.
Stevie B: Fly classy? Maggie has disconnected.