You always thought your acrobatics between the sheets were so good they should be illegal -- little did you know, they just might be. From keeping the lights on in Hungary to being a sex toy aficionado in Texas, you may find yourself behind bars for what you thought was just a harmless bit of fun. Check out what's on the local books below before your next liaison becomes your last.
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United Arab Emirates
Carnal act that will get you screwed: In Dubai, any sort of PDA, even a peck on the cheek, results in 10 days of jail time for each person (but if you've been boozing you could face up to a year).
Uruguay Carnal act that will get you screwed: If you get caught in the sack with another man's wife, it is totally within his rights to either kill the both of you, or to castrate you and chop off the wifey's nose.
Estonia Carnal act that will get you screwed: In Estonia’s capital, sex requires your undivided attention; a quick game of chess while copulating is strictly forbidden.
Utah Carnal act that will get you screwed: Like most places, it’s illegal to marry your first cousin... before the age of 65 that is (or 55, if you can prove both parties are infertile). If that isn't the case, the marriage will be declared void from the beginning.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Better to drink a sex on the beach in Spain than have it; frolicking on the beach is illegal and can cost you up to €75,000 in fines, so keep it in your pants 'til you're back in your room.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: You may own up to six dildos, no more. A drawer full of any more could get you a Class A Misdemeanor, resulting in a fine of up to $4,000 and/ or a jail term of up to one year.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Sex on a parked motorcycle is a no-no (so don’t attempt to recreate the Bound 2 video). Also, never ask a strange woman for sex in a pub. Kimye impersonators will go straight to jail, while you can expect a fine equivalent to $250 and up to three months in the clink for unsolicited requests, no matter how smooth.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Taking full-frontal pics in a photo booth is a cardinal sin in Sweden, though you're welcome to go topless. Expect a heavy fine if the wrong cop catches you.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: It’s illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay -- a great excuse to skip it altogether and get down to business.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Off with those lights, and keep 'em that way -- in Budapest, sex is only allowed in the dark. Even in your home, with your wife.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Carnal act that will get you screwed: No matter how suave you consider yourself, keep your pick-up lines to yourself, as "lascivious banter" in public is prohibited and may put you behind bars for 30 days.
Carnal act that will get you screwed: Don’t cheat, player -- adultery is a Class 4 Misdemeanor, which could earn you a maximum fine of $250.
Carnal act that will not get you screwed: Necrophilia is legal!! Knock yourself out... weirdo.
Sophie-Claire Hoeller is Thrillist’s über-efficient German travel writer. She’s had frequent flyer status ever since her mother gave birth to her at a Lufthansa terminal. Follow her adventures via Twitter at @Sohostyle.