Should you make it to Abu Dhabi one day, perhaps you'll stay at the Ritz Carlton's new waterfront property, which was "inspired by 15th to early 17th century Renaissance architecture", and overlooks a decidedly not-15th-century 5000sqft infinity pool. But their killer suites, those are probably only afforded to prep school pals of Prince Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan. And since that dude was a total dick to you in AP Bio, you'll have to get your kicks with this visual tour of their three options.
Executive: After getting you complimentary overnight shoeshine, lace-up and take a full lap of the two room exec suite, where the spacious balcony runs from the den to bedroom.
Check out the majestic Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque and the 57 acre property from your room, and then sip on the highest quality of genie around.
Royal: Located on the top floor, feel the treatment in any of the seven rooms, and take note of Italian-inspired flooring & counter tops sporting wood inlays and semi-precious stones.
Villas: Flanking the ten stately hotel buildings, these one- and two-bedroom villas ball so hard they have their own private butler service.
Private outdoor terraces allow you to bask under elegant African teak timber pergolas and stare off into the European-inspired sunken garden.