Travel

A globe-spanning ancient civilization tour... in a private jet

People are usually willing to pay a little bit more for direct flights, that is until you get to Bill Peach, who's charging $30k for you to take a dozen layovers during your 17-day flight from Sydney to London this September.

The journey takes you through various "ancient cultures" to some of the "the most exotic destinations on earth" which, as this map makes clear, means you'll basically be Indiana Jones-ing it and going nowhere near Jonesville Indiana

You'll be going ultra-lux all the way, starting at their own private terminal in Sydney airport, where you'll get onboard this private 36-seater, and head out to Aussie locales Winton and Darwin, where the wildlife will likely try to remove you from the gene pool.

From there, the next stop is Bali, where you'll hop on boats and head downriver to your hotel, then venture off to an orangutan rehabilitation center, where they train orphaned/rescued apes on how to survive in the wild. You, unfortunately, will not receive the same guidance.

After that it's Northern Thailand, in Chiang Mai, which boats over 300 temples, plus the "world’s largest Bronze Gong" (!). You'll also get to hang out with the "white Karen hill-tribe", who like so many other Karens, "have their own unique customs and culture".

Now India, where you'll awake to see the Taj Mahal at sunrise, and ponder the fact that you're basically just staring at a big tomb.

Then it's on to Muscat in Oman, where you'll get to go to one of the oldest marketplaces in the Arab world. How old is it?? It's so old that they still sell frankincense, perfume oils, fresh jasmine, and spices (note: their old spices might give you "swagger")

From there, head to the Nile and languidly sail down it on a private yacht for a dinner cruise, keeping a close eye out for any errant baskets in patches of reeds.

Staying in Egypt, you'll also get to hit the huge Abu Simbel temples -- otherwise known as the Nubian Monuments -- originally carved out of the mountainside during the reign of Ramses II, who wanted "to intimidate his Nubian neighbors". Ramses was later quoted as saying "Man, I should have just gotten a pitbull"

Heading further west, you'll get to the Greek island of Santorini, where you'll stay on the cliff-side villages that overlook the bay, which, by the way, has a submerged volcano in it (and plenty of fish-ures?)

Before the final stop at London's Mandarin Oriental, you'll hit Prague's own, built on the site of a former 14th century monastery. Hey, these layovers could really become a habit.