19. "Do the pilots know how to land this thing?"
No, we actually just took a couple of Hare Krishnas from baggage claim, dressed them up like Captain Stubing, and prayed for the best. That's cool, right?
20. "Do you have any empty seats in business class/first class/exit row I can sit in?"
Do you have a debit card with at least $89 on it? Then yes.
21. "Are we going to be safe flying over Cuba?"
The last thing a country that can’t afford road construction wants to do is shoot down an American passenger jet. Please: sit back, relax, and enjoy some totally gluten-free pretzels.