Slapped right in the heart of West London, and backing onto the vast Hyde park, Mandarin's palatial building houses 170+ rooms and over 25 suites. Oh, and two of the world's best restaurants.
Yes, you can see Harrods from almost every room, while other faraway landmarks include Royal Albert Hall, Chelsea, and, if you're on the roof, probably France.
Luxurious individual rooms come standard w/ king beds, silk curtains, leather-top desks, and marble bathrooms.
If you're feeling frisky, upgrade to a royal suite to gain a walk-in wardrobe, original 18thC Chinese paintings, and "dedicated butler service", though it's probably better not to test their allegiance.
They've got a full fitness centre, and apparently some very blurry masseuses
Restaurant one: Dinner by Heston Blumenthal (the man behind triple Michelin/World's Best Restaurant The Fat Duck), which debuted on the at no.9 on Pellegrino's famous list, the highest spot ever for a new entry.
The menu contains "modernized traditional British food" (so like Britain's old food, but good!), which includes playful treats like this Meat Fruit: a chicken liver parfait disguised as a mandarin. Get it? Yeah, you get it
Restaurant two: Bar Boulud, a replica of the same-named New York offering from triple-Michelin chef Daniel Boulud
As if that weren't enough, there's the Mandarin bar, too, which mixes 'tails both classic and original, including like their quintessentially English Chelsea Gardener: gin mixed w/ tea syrup & pomegranate.