One of the original hotels built during the crazy '40s "Boom over Miami" period (3k hotel rooms in two years, son!), The Raleigh combines pre-war decor with a buttload of tropical foliage right on the beach. Their world-famous pool (thank Esther Williams for filming half-naked there) is completely enclosed by hedges, and equipped with giant rubber tubes that're really easy to flip people in ideal for cocktail-in-hand floating. Said cocktails can be picked up at a pool bar conveniently positioned right behind the waterfall diving board, presumably so you can perform a screwdriver after downing a few. The standard guestrooms are just shy of 300 sq-ft and come with either a city, ocean, garden, or pool view, which you'll see none off when face-planted on 400 count Egyptian cotton sheets. Or you can opt for the double-size suites including this beach-view one with a private terrace, not including the floral dress-clad chick clearly shooting daggers at other floral dress-clad chicks For eats, hit The Royal, which aside from being engulfed in candle-adorned trees, also plates lobster mac, FL middleneck clams, and slow-roasted short rib that's been doused in a ranch seasoning, sure to start your "Balloon over Miami" period.
Timothy DeLaGhetto and David So Devour all the Bacon at the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival