The 10 most asinine travel gadgets money can buy

Ostrich pillow for traveling

Packing for a hot trip? Well, if one of these ten mystifying objects shows up in your gear, do yourself a favor and stay home to watch re-runs of Guys with Kids instead.

Kuchofuku air-conditioned travel garments.

10. Cool threads
There is nothing nifty about wearing Kuchofuku Air-Conditioned Cooling apparel.

Lazypatch Duvet Suit

9. Sleep suit
When it comes to ultimate in-flight comfort, screw track suits; instead, wear a Lazypatch Duvet! But please... don't.

Vogmasks travel respirators.

8. Cough couture
Respirate in style with Vogmasks. Or, just don't go to China.

Toothettes portable tooth brushing system.

7. Dental damned
Toothettes are soooooo much less cumbersome than a regular-sized toothbrush and travel-sized tube of paste.

The Ostrich Pillow travel pillow.

6. Fashion hat-trick
This Ostrich Pillow will totally mess with your hair, but no one will mess with you when you line up for priority boarding with your coach ticket. They will (rightly) fear you and your comfort accessory.

Re-Timer jetlag-easing glasses.

5. Spock specks
Always wanted a pair of glasses that emit a green light, mimicking sunlight, to help you battle jet-lag on those pesky trans-Atlantics? Then Re-Timers are totally for you. We, however, hope not to be seated next to you on the flight.

UpRight Sleeper, upright sleeping device.

4. Hot headgear
Remember how you could sleep standing up when you sprained your neck and had to wear that collar for three months? The UpRight Sleeper brings that sensation right back!

The Cabin Pillow travel pillow wedge.

3. Seat-back entertainment
Hahahaha. No, seriously, the Cabin Pillow is as real a thing as that dude's 'stache.

Plane Sheet in-flight travel accessory.

2. Buckle bedazzler
Nobody will think twice about you putting your custom camo Plane Sheet onto seat 6B... PSYCHO.

Minimate personal air purification system.
LJ Enterprises

1. Better breathing
"The Millennium Model Air Supply Minimate is a top-of-the-line personal air purification" system, and it's indispensable. Especially if you end up sitting next to a Louie Anderson-type who's packing airport Chili's-To-Go.