10. The Elderly The same people who had trouble turning off their TV this morning are now navigating the world's most advanced security system. Taking 15 minutes to undo Velcro shoes feels like an elaborate prank all old people are in on.
9. Too Much on his Person Guy This dude manages to have no less than two laptops, phones in three different pockets, lace-up shoes with a buckle (why?!), a watch, a belt, bracelets, a necklace, and, like, six rings...on one hand. Oh, you need to slowly take those off at the last possible second? Please, take your time, it isn't like the rest of us are here for a scheduled departure or anything.
8. Must Put Everything Back on his Person Guy The version of Too Much On His Person Guy insists on putting himself entirely back together again before he leaves the conveyor belt. Bonus points for checking voicemail and responding to emails between shoes.
7. Thinks He's a Cop TSA Agent Noticeable because of his perfectly crisp uni, military cut, and mustache, this dude had some vision problem that precluded him from being a Texas Ranger/Green Beret/other no-nonsense, emotionally unstable occupation. Now, fresh from mall security, he's been called up to the big show. No joking with this dude, 'cause he'll tase you. Twice. In the nuts.