Nowadays, if you want to explore somewhere no human has ever set foot before, you have to go to Manti Te'o's girlfriend's house. Thanks to Epic Tomato, though, at least you can book a vacation package that includes the prospects of visiting "unexplored areas" of Papua New Ginuea, and "potentially be the first people in many years to engage with stone age cultures".
The tour includes the Star Mountains and a winding trip up the scarcely charted Sepik River, where the last known Western visitors were "an intrepid group of scientists in the late 1960′s" (as if scientists in the '60s came any other way)
The journey begins in Port Moresby, perhaps your last hot meal/shower for a week. Luckily, college has prepared you for this. From there, a light, single-prop plane'll bumpily speed you towards a remote landing strip "made by missionaries"
Having reached the mountains, you'll be reminded by your guide that he doesn't actually speak the native dialects, because, um, nobody does. You'll also be reminded that "the last known ex-cannibal tribes lived in this region", so perhaps that hot meal is closer than you think
The trek takes seven days, during the course of which you're "highly likely to encounter indigenous people", who appear to possess some kind of house-levitatiion technology.
Once you hit the largely unexplored River May, you'll use a packraft and your own two feet to solider on, "living off the rainforest" (plus rations!), and finding solace in the fact that in the case of an emergency, your corpse will receive a helicopter extraction.
Once you're on the Sepik, you're on the last leg of your journey, heading back towards civilization on a boat with an actual motor, because, real or imagined, motor-boating is awesome.