You went to: Mexico
And brought back: Maracas
Why?: After a bunch of tequila, you hazily remember someone handing you maracas, and you were, like, totally in the groove, jamming away, and the ladies loved it, and it was AWESOME.
This gift sucks because: The only thing your friends can think of doing with these things is to hit you over the head with them... rhythmically, of course.
You went to: Australia
And brought back: A 'Map of Tassie' thong
Why?: You thought your girlfriend would appreciate the local 'in' joke and bask in your own cultural immersion.
This gift sucks because: She won’t let that nasty fabric anywhere near her nether region, from which you'll also face a temporary ban.