Choosing a worthy travel destination is the most important part of any vacation; hell (we'll get back to that), it's the "where" of you bothering to go "there". And, while you may rank things like climate, culture, amenities, and nightlife high on your list, allow us to suggest a different criterion: only spend your paid-time-off in places with hilarious names. Think of the comedic t-shirt collection you'll amass!
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14. Bumpass, Virginia Thank the Bumpass family whose scion Jack Bumpass brought this hilarious town name into being and, thus, transformed this slice of the northeast corner of VA into an oddity-traveler's mecca. Favorite traveler's resource: The Virginia State Tourism Board's website, Bumpass is for Lovers.
13. Intercourse, Pennsylvania In the heart of southeastern PA's Amish Country and the setting for the Harrison Ford/ Kelly McGillis flick Witness, it seems as though Intercourse is positioned to be the least likely place in America to live up to its name. That said, travelers be warned... Safety tip: ... Intercourse is less than ten miles away from Blue Ball, PA. So be VERY careful when setting your GPS, or else plan for an entirely more disappointing weekend away.
12. Fucking, Austria Welcome to Intercourse's more brazen sister city, 20mi north of Salzburg. Traveler's tip: The village folk (population: 104) got sick and tired of English-speaking tourists stealing their Fucking signage. So in 2004, after a vote to change the name of the town after 800yrs failed to pass, they decided to install theft-resistant signs welded to steel. Tawdry traveler's tip: Once visitors realized they couldn't easily rip up a route-marker, they started filming themselves "in the act" in front of the sign-posts. In 2009 the Fuckingers got tired of it and installed CCTV cameras. Be forewarned.
11. Gobbler's Knob, Pennsylvania The rural area a couple miles outside of Punxsutawney garners the world's attention as much for its weather-predicting groundhog as its vaguely hilarious name. Steer clear: The Knob may be a peaceful place for most of the year, but it should be avoided at all costs for the knobs that gather in the early morning hours each February 2nd.
10. Hell, Norway Believe it or not, the founders of this burg in southwestern Norway named it "Hell" after the Old Norse word "hellir", which translates to "overhang" -- not the feeling you get from eating lutefisk. Burn in: Another place. Hell's one of the colder places in the world; in fact, it's actually frozen over a third of the year. Boom, tish.
9. Dildo, Canada According to Wikipedia, this town got its name from the "phallus-shaped pin stuck in the edging of a row boat to act as a pivot for the oar"... Mmmhmm... Sure, Canadians. Whatever you say. Favorite local tourism site: TripAdvisor's Dildo Vacations; be sure to open that one in an Incognito browser, or face awkward questions from girlfriends, roommates, and HR.
8. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales Yes. A small village in Wales calls itself by a name with more letters than residents... And we're like 65% sure we didn't spell it wrong. Interesting fact: The township's tourism folks own the internet's longest valid domain name in the world; toss a ".org.uk" after their 63 characters and you're on your way to learning more about Llanfairpwll-oh-forget-about-it. But if you've only got 30secs, click to hear how the place's actually pronounced.
7. Twatt, Scotland Believe it or not, Scotland has two Twatts. There's one on the Orkney Islands and another on the Shetland Islands, and both of them are equally snicker-worthy. Our extensive research reveals that the only thing to do in either Twatt is stand next to the road sign with an arrow pointing your way. Etymology: The name comes from an Old Norse word meaning "small parcel of land".
6. Middelfart, Denmark Aaaaaand with Denmark's East Jutland town of Middelfart, we get into the most juvenile portion of our list... Historical background: Middelfart was a hub for whale hunters from the Middle Ages until the end of the 19th century. Even though whaling became officially uncool in the 20th century, Middelfarters reverted to their old habits during both of the world wars.
5. Muff, Ireland One might notice that Muff's awesomely close to Burnfoot, despite being eons beyond it in the schema of funny city names. If you do hit the northern Ireland port city, you'll be happy to know they even have a sanctioned Muff Diving Club. Best time to visit: During the Muff Festival, of course. That's when you'll have the chance to seduce the Muff Queen after you kill it at the Lorry (truck) Pulling Competition. Should she not be suitably impressed, attend the Bilingual Historical Walk and try your best Gaelic pick-up line.
4. Humptulips, Washington Humptulips?! Told you it was about to get juvenile... But, don't worry, the western Washington town got its name from a totally-innocent-sounding Native American phrase meaning "hard to pole". Interpret that phrase as you will, but it's likely our Native American friends were referring to the difficulty of parking their canoes in this town. Super small town: There are only 60 families here, so you'll either fear xenophobia or consider yourself welcomed to diversify the gene pool. Either way, it's nice to bring flowers the first time you visit your neighbors.
3. Titty Hill, England Located in rural Sussex, Titty Hill is a great place to base yourself for trips to nearby Wetwang and Shitterton. Traveler's resources: There ain't any. Good luck.
2. Pee Pee Township, Ohio Located in the heart of scenic Pike County, Pee Pee was named after the Pee Pee River, a name derived from the initials of an Irish settler, not what comprises its waters. Local eats: The only business with a sizable presence online is Chester's Chicken and Shake Shoppe. We love chicken and shakes, but hate their spare "PE" as much as we hated actual "P.E."
1. Anus, France Because how could the idyllic French town of Anus not be No.1 on any such list? Reason to visit: Only to tell the tale. There's literally no other reason to head to this corner of Burgundy.