Having a dog crap on your plane will ruin your flight. Having a plane crap on your dog, however, will ruin your entire week. And one New Zealand woman claims she's the victim of such a coprological crime -- accusing an airplane of dumping its lavatory load all over her home.
Karen Bass, who lives under the flight path (line of fire?) of planes touching down at Auckland International Airport, claims she left her house Sunday to find both her home and car showered in scat.
"The first thing when I walked out of my door this morning and I saw it, I thought an airplane s*** on us. You open the door and it smells like s***", Bass said in a statement to the New Zealand Herald.
"I'm absolutely disgusted at the moment. The amount of crap everywhere is horrendous", she added, speculating "there's no way it's a bird or animal poo... I'm sure it's human".
She also provided too much information as evidence of her hypothesis.
"What else could it be with huge clumps like that"? Bass said.
To prove the feces are human, Bass is having a sample of the waste investigated, but discovering who's responsible will be difficult, since the doodie drop occurred at night. In the meantime, Bass has lodged a complaint to Airways New Zealand, though she's uncertain of the offending airline. Airways New Zealand denied any responsibility.
Additionally, such dramatic dumps seldom happen, as most airplane fluid drops contain only water.
"All big commercial aircraft contain all waste products, especially from toilets", aviation expert Peter Clarke explained to the New Zealand Herald, adding that an airplane releasing waste is "very, very rare".
However, Clarke did note "tanks on the aircraft can leak... but it's a very uncommon occurrence".
Uncommon, perhaps. But for those rare times they happen, the person on the receiving end is definitely SOL.
Chloe Pantazi is an editorial assistant on Thrillist's travel team. Yes, that’s a British accent. No, she doesn’t watch Downton Abbey. Follow her on Twitter at @ChloePantazi.