Woman Kicked Off Flight For Stabbing Seatmate With Pen

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The pen is mightier than the sword -- especially on a plane, because swords won't fit in a carry on. And one ink-stained passenger found out the hard way last week, when his seat mate stabbed him in his sleep.

On a Southwest Airlines flight from Chicago to Manchester, NH, a female passenger allegedly poked her seat partner, Lenny Mordarski, repeatedly in his sleep. The reason: he was snoring. Mordarski told CNN it felt like being woken up by bee stings. It's bad enough to wake up when someone bumps into you -- but seriously, being stabbed with a pen?

At the time of the reported attack, the plane was still taxiing down the runway, and after Mordarski’s cries, the plane returned to the gate and kicked the stabby woman off. Mordarski's friend, Michael Sutton, who was also seated next to him, said he heard absolutely no snoring. Tweeting out his rage, Sutton explains the incident:

He also shared a photo of the gruesome aftermath. Viewer discretion advised. Things got inky:

Despite already being delayed, the plane's passengers cheered when the alleged stabber got the boot. Southwest poured on the good service by offering Mordarski free gin and tonics, too -- hell, if getting stabbed with a pen nets free drinks, then stab away. Just not in the face.

Check out the video for more info, and make sure to note the victim’s kicky beret.

Kara King is a Thrillist intern and SoCal native. She is still trying to make sense of this strange, worldwide phenomenon called “weather.” Follow her attempts to live without all that sunshine at @karatillie.