BREAKING NEWS: A 52-year-old Mexican man named Roberto Esquivel Cabrera claims to possess the world's largest penis, and TMZ has obtained a video of the guy weighing his prodigious member. C'mon, you know you wanna watch it.
According to the clip, the 19-inch wang weighs in at just about 2lbs, which is more than a can of baked beans, but less than a toy poodle. Rather than definitively settling the issue of Esquivel's corndog, though, the video only raises more mysteries -- like why Esquivel chose to wrap his hog in what appears to be a burlap sack, or why they chose to questionably censor only his testicles/pubic region.
The dude behind the dong says it's more of a curse than a blessing, as it prevents him from holding down a job, maintaining a relationship, or even kneeling in church. Although, why kneel when you've got a kickstand?