The World’s 15 Hottest Royals, Ranked
It might seem shallow, or even wrong, to rank the world's sexiest royals... but that’s exactly what's happening here. If you’re offended by objectifying ridiculously good-looking, rich, and powerful people, this is not the list for you. We had a girl (MD) and a guy (GJ) go back and forth to crown the hottest monarchs and their relatives, because there are plenty of attractive royals out there, and there's always room for debate.
Here's our ranking of the world’s RILFs (Royalty I’d Like to... Fence. Yeah, fence, because fencing is a thing royals do).
15. Prince Philippos, Greece and Denmark
MD: He’s got jet-black hair and roguish good looks. What’s more, dude knows how to rock a suit. Sure, he may look a tiiiiiny bit like Neville Longbottom, but his dad was the king of Greece and his mom was the princess of Denmark. He’s prince of TWO countries. And Neville Longbottom ended up getting hot, despite being a dork as a kid.
GJ: While I wouldn’t exactly call his looks roguish, he does have that boyish charm thing going on. Those thick eyebrows are gonna develop into rainforest caterpillars once puberty really kicks in, though. Dude’s gonna look like a young George Whipple in 10 years… and pretty much no one associates "George Whipple" with "sexy," except for the hardcorest of sapiosexuals.
14. Prince Pierre Casiraghi, Monaco
MD: Dreamy in a clean-cut kind of way, I bet Pierre knows how to woo a lady over croissants and cafe au lait, and is really good at investing in low-yield bonds. Yes, he has adorable baby blue eyes and a quirky little side smile, but he also looks like he bruises rather easily and cries at Nicolas Sparks novels.
GJ: Pierre definitely fits the “Prince Charming” bill, but there’s just something about him that seems off. He looks like a blue-blooded, European version of Tucker Max, so I naturally assume he’s secretly as douchey as his fratty doppelganger.
13. Grand Duke Henri, Luxembourg
MD: This guy is only hot if you’re into that whole James Bond thing (who isn't?). He’s got a serious Roger Moore thing going on. Sure, he’s on the mature side, but I’m just saying, I’m not averse to taking a peek at his double 0 and 7.
GJ: The Grand Duke’s a bit more Bond villain than 007, honestly. He looks like he’d be on Bond’s side right up until the third act, when he tries to melt the polar ice caps and conquer the Moon in the name of “New Luxembourg."
12. Princess Tatiana, Greece and Denmark
MD: Princess Tatiana is sexy on so many international levels. She was born in Venezuela, raised in Switzerland and has Russian Jewish roots. Fiery Latina, always punctual, and probably prepares a mean knish... that’s sexy, right? The fact that she looks like Giselle doesn’t hurt, either.
GJ: The looks of a fashion model and the brains of a Georgetown graduate: what’s not to love? Her Instagram game is pretty tight, too, and she’s only got 3,500 followers, which means she’s probably totally down to earth. If she can make a knish that’s delish, so much the better.
11. King Jigme Khesar Mangyel Wangchuck, Bhutan
MD: When your king is an Asian Ken doll, it’s not hard to understand why the people of Bhutan are considered the happiest on earth. Prostrating yourself in front of this guy would not be the worst thing you did that day.
GJ: He definitely does look like an Asian Ken doll, and he’s got the expansive wardrobe that comes with it too. Once you peel away those flowing robes of state, though, does he have the same sexless, nondescript crotchal region as his Mattel counterpart? Then again, his last name is Wangchuck, so maybe that says it all.
10. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed al Maktoum, Dubai
MD: Have you seen this guy’s provocatively intense 1,000-yard stare? (C’mon, admit it. It moved.) With those deep brown eyes and long lashes, he's earned forgiveness for having a ridiculously tiny mouth and a name that's too long to say in bed.
GJ: Alright, now we’re starting to get into obnoxiously attractive territory. This guy’s got movie-star looks and the bankroll to match, not to mention the sort of jawline that makes women swoon and men grumble quietly. AND he’s a poet? How is this dusky asshole not ranked higher here?
9. Princess Madeleine, Sweden
MD: Not only is she blond, Swedish, and beautiful, but she possesses a magnificent rack... you know, from the 16th century that was used for torturing enemies. It’s a historic relic and a part of Swedish history. Why, what did you think I was talking about?
GJ: Princess Madeleine’s stunning, and her husband is definitely a motorboatin’ sonofabitch. In that he’s rich, and probably owns a yacht with a motor that he uses quite a lot.
8. Princess Ameerah Al-Taweel, Saudi Arabia
MD: This Princess Jasmine look-a-like is hands-down Disney hot. I bet tons of guys are dying to check out her Cave of Wonders. (All the Aladdin jokes!)
GJ: There’s no getting around it -- Princess Ameerah is drop-dead gorgeous. Any genie’d be lucky to to have her rub his lamp, but here’s the real question: does the Magic Carpet match the drapes?
7. Prince Carl Philip, Sweden
MD: The Orlando Bloom of Sweden. I think I’ve made my point.
GJ: If you asked nicely, he’d probably show you his third LEGolas... What, no good?
6. Prince Harry, UK
MD: Talk about the ugly duckling that became a smoking hot, bad-ass, red-headed swan. No offense Harry, but no one saw that coming... but now that it has... how about a private tour of the crown jewels?
GJ: Red-headed swan status aside, any dude who pilots an attack helicopter by day and carouses with notable female socialites by night trumps the competition automatically. Inheriting the late Princess Diana’s genetics doesn’t hurt, either.
5. Princess Kate, UK
MD: Just as Prince William started to slip on the hot scale (didn’t even make this list!!), he went and locked down Kate. I’m sure it was love and chemistry and pink hearts and glitter, but Prince William’s stock did go up a considerable amount after he bagged this brunette beauty. I see your game, William. Well played, your majesty.
GJ: Okay, honestly? I think Kate’s beauty is kinda overhyped. Yes, she’s got a timeless elegance and grace that elevates her beyond normal levels of everyday hotness, but these are the major leagues. The competition is stiff, and that’s not even a double entendre.
4. Queen Letizia, Spain
MD: I’m not going to say you cheated your way onto this list, Queen Letizia, but a nose job is technically not playing by the rules. I’m going to let it slide, though, because your dedication to making this list shows a far greater commitment than any of the other candidates.
GJ: She looks like a retired Victoria’s Secret model, and in her past life as a journalist, she reported live from Ground Zero following the 2001 terrorist attacks. If Queen Letizia wants to shave a little off the top of her honker, more power to her!
3. Princess Charlene, Monaco
MD: It’s like Michelle Pfieffer and Charlize Theron ran at each other really fast and this is what happened when they collided. That seems like something the world needs more of.
GJ: Princess Charlene was an Olympic swimmer for South Africa, which means not only does she have a killer bod, but she’s got stamina for days. Come to think of it, Charlize Theron’s also from South Africa. I’m sensing a sexy trend here.
2. Queen Jetsun Pema, Bhutan
MD: It only makes sense that Asian Ken would have his flawless Asian Barbie. AREN’T YOU HAPPY ENOUGH, BHUTAN?
GJ: The “Dragon Queen” is a stunner for sure, to the point that I’m willing to overlook any anatomical issues this Barbie might share with her Ken doll husband. Am I not merciful?
1. Queen Rania, Jordan
MD: Looking at Queen Rania is like eating hot, buttery pancakes and wearing a Snuggie while dozens of puppies play at your feet and magic leprechauns leap over a rainbow. It doesn’t even make any sense. That’s how hot she is. Not to mention, she's involved in tons of charity work. That’s why her sexy sovereignty reigns supreme over every one else on this list.
GJ: Queen Rania’s the oldest woman on this list, and yet she still out-strips her younger competition. Unfortunately for us, she will never literally outstrip any of them -- she's far too classy for that kinda stuff. She's got 3.6 million Twitter followers and 500,000 IG fans, so clearly, she's pretty popular. But can you imagine an all-royal strip-off? If there's one way to find world peace, that's gotta be it.
Meagan Drillinger is a freelance writer for Thrillist. She wrote Prince William a letter once. He never responded. Bet he wishes he did now. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @drillinjourneys.