She’s got 15 minutes on the beach to find her Prince Charming before she turns into a bright red lobster. And if you didn't know it, she's reminded you at least seven times.
Spring Break Crash-Juicer
Did you really think a week of steroids and meat shakes would have you looking like a full-time frat star when you slathered yourself in baby oil? Although, if by “frat star” you mean the “Michelin Man,” then congratulations, pal. You made it.
First-Time Spray Tanner
It was a smart move getting some kind of base after the long winter in Wisconsin. Didn’t quite realize that stuff washes off if you sweat, though, did you? It’s cool, surely there’s SOMEBODY who finds crusty, caramel-colored steaks sexy.
Mr. Nice Guy
Just because you get perpetually friend-zoned back home doesn’t mean your nice-guy act is gonna play any better on Spring Break. Those girls wrote you off for being too unattractive 10 minutes before you sat down on their towel. Uninvited.