Because despite its over-the-top perks and potential for Carrot Top sightings, cruising to Vegas can get a little stale and seriously expensive, hedge your bets with a shorter drive, more money to throw on the table, and standard definition TVs so heavy you couldn't possibly throw them through the window, by snagging The Pints Package at the Colorado Belle in Laughlin, Nevada.
Where You're Staying
In order to celebrate the opening of their new brew pub Pints, you'll be roughing it old-school at the legendary, legendarily rustic Colorado Belle (though now they do have "TVs with controllers") featuring 65000sqft of casino space overlooking the Colorado River in Laughlin, which is named for a dude who opened the Riverside Resort there (and made it popular with all-you-can-eat 98c chicken dinners), and famous for a crazy 2002 battle between "70-100" Hells Angels and Mongols called the River Run Riot, which resulted in three deaths, yet somehow zero closings of the Colorado Belle.
What You're Getting
Each suspiciously inexpensive package ($40 during mid-week, no joke) includes a two-night stay at the Belle, two "logo tees", plus a two-topping pizza/ comped pitcher of one of Pints' five "handcrafted brews" like "Rehab Red" amber and the IPA "What the Puck", which, after a few, may affect how you view The Real World.
What Else You're Doing
If the onboard spa isn't enough to keep you busy, hop from casino to casino via water taxis, or rent jetskis or boats/wakeboards to go a couple miles upriver to the base of the Hoover Dam, also what Herbert's wife said, when he declared the war against poverty over three months before the start of the Great Depression.