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Fact 1: SF single-handedly consumes around 35% of America's supply of Fernet Branca. Fact 2: Female marsupials have a double reproductive tract. Back to Fact 1: As the (un)official drink of bartenders and hardcore City-by-the-Bay-ers, FB has long deserved what we're finally giving it: a one-day, 14-stop crawl through the dive bars and highfalutin establishments that serve our favorite amaro in ways you never thought possible. But first... ... you definitely want to play this while reading.








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1. Trick Dog
3010 20th St, San Francisco -
2. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
2323 Mission St, San Francisco -
3. Rich Table
199 Gough St, San Francisco -
4. Jasper's Corner Tap & Kitchen
401 Taylor St, San Francisco -
5. Fifth Floor
12 4th St, San Francisco -
6. Monarch
101 6th St, San Francisco -
7. Burritt Room + Tavern
417 Stockton St, San Francisco -
8. Tony's Pizza Napoletana
1570 Stockton St, San Francisco -
9. Soda Popinski
1548 California St, San Francisco -
10. Bullitt
2209 Polk St, San Francisco -
11. Tonic
2360 Polk St, San Francisco -
12. Lightning Tavern
1875 Union St, San Francisco -
13. Haas Brothers
795 Folsom St, San Francisco

Brought to you by The Bon Vivants, Trick Dog in The Mission's a marble- and steel-adorned cocktailery serving drinks from a Pantone-inspired menu with names from favorite song titles, along with bar bites like beer nuts, pickles, and cracklins.

Although inspired by the famed Muppet band, this place is about as devoid of Muppets as you can get. What they do have, however, is cheap wings, liquor on tap and beers served in Mason jars. We think this more than makes up for a little Hensonless-ness.

Rich Table's reclaimed-wood decor belies its menu of eclectic American dishes, which range from rainbow trout and rabbit leg to hangar steak and cured hamachi. There's also an impressive wine list, a range of beers on tap and in bottles, and handcrafted cocktails.

It's name along gives the impression that this Little Saigon spot might be a local dive plastered in graffiti and the sticky remnants of spilled beer, but Jasper's is the compete opposite. A clean-cut answer to less-than-desirable beer bars, this white leather palace rotates through 18 taps with craft beers from all along the West coast and offers upscale takes on standard bar food wth shareable plates of deviled eggs and greedy portions of sauce-slathered ribs and hearty meatloaf.

Located in the Hotel Palomar, Fifth Floor slings classy "New American" cuisine with a lively bar, all of which you don't have to walk up five flights of stairs to get to (!).

Located on not-at-all-dangerous(-if-you-go-during-the-daytime-and-have-a-bodyguard-and-a-taser) 6th St, this steampunk club pairs a booming downstairs dance space with a slightly less-booming classy upstairs bar, complete with sexy lady acrobats dangling from the ceiling.

Located inside the Mystic Hotel, this place serves up handcrafted cocktails in a true speakeasy-style setting. The adjoining Burritt Tavern has a menu loaded with gourmet American cuisine, and there are special areas to accommodate both small and large parties, so go in with a group and prepare to be impressed.

Although the assortment of artisanal pizza varieties is the main attraction, Tony's also offers up a selection of Italian specialties and homemade pastas. If pizza's your thing, you'll appreciate the flavor that the 900 degree wood-fired oven lends to each slice.

This Russian-themed bar off of Polk Street is great for a gang of friends who are into dive bars, red-lighting, and pickle back shots. Soda Popinski has old-school Mario games to play and a “Russian Roulette"-- which, for the price of a nice cocktail, you can spin to win drink deals or a glass boot filled with a Moscow Mule. The bar also offers guest bartending for fundraising events, where all tips go to your charity of choice.

Bullitt's got a finely designed interior to match the retro coolness of the Steve McQueen flick it was named after. Sporting a sheet metal bar with low-hanging Edison bulbs and fine wood paneling, this Russian Hill district favorite's got and endless supply of bottled beer and food just as laid-back as the crowd who frequent it with a small selection of bar bites ideal for hardcore cheese-lovers. From the thick beef burgers, to the nachos, to the widely beloved tater tots, everything's covered head to toe in the stuff.

Vodka gummy bears, East Coast-style pickle backs, and fish bowls filled with vodka, coconut rum, fruit juice & Swedish Fish all make Tonic one of the most popular places to party in Russian Hill. Beyond the weekend craziness, its weekday trivia is some of the best in the city.

Unabashedly divey, Lighting Tavern carries Fireball, Fernet, tater tot nachos, and chicken wing buckets all in equal parts. Grab a seat on the outdoor patio to sip down bottomless mimosas as you prepare yourself for one of the booziest brunches in town (or dinners or happy hours). Even if you don't take advantage of the bottomless offer, the Scotch egg- and poutine-filled menu will have you overindulging in a different way.

Haas Brothers is an SF importer/marketer as well as a fine spirits distillery (imported and domestic).